Yeh but I usualy refrain from focusing on my ma'alot, so i don't let too much gayva get to my head. i'm not holding in knowing where my ma'alot came from, and who endowed me in something which i can claim no credit for.... also kown as propper anivos (so for now i do it the wimpy way, but i'm not depressed).
But if i was busted....what would happen: The community would make a scandal out of it, b/c in these areas there is no such thing as lashon hara. My mother would confide in all her freinds, who in turn would confine in their families and acquaintances. i couldn't show my face in shul, and i would need to look for a new yeshiva. Everyone who ''secrectly'' looks at the occasional p@#$ would use their own guilt as a reason to shame me.
I'd have to go into a long long FREEZER, untill the dust settles. and then every girl that looks into me would have to weigh the stigma of going out with a sex addict (when in reality it's all cyber pics). I'd never be able to get a post on rabbanus/chinuch/ or even kiruv! i'd never find a half decent shiduch, unless the girl was honest enough about her own internet habbits (which sadly may solve the problme fairly easily...i'll i'de need to look for was a girl who works on the comp)
My rock bottom story is fairly pathetic, so I gotta read some more stories, and mybe create a projected addiction rate, and then play out a rock bottom when i have a respectable post, wife and kids. Any ideas. hey this sounds pretty theraputic! mybe we should all try this, and if you can't create a gory demise [rock bottom] then you don't realise the extent of the addiction.
on second thought i should try the chofetz chaims version, din vecheshbon.
