Maybe this isn't the place, but I do need someone to point me in the right direction , I have given some thought about this and decided I do need to talk about this.
I have a problem and I can't talk about it to anyone. And even here I think people will judge me for it. 

I just had a baby girl BH, and I have bee struggling with being a father. I don't feel any kind of closeness to my infant, even though my wife says im doing an amazing job as a father. 

the truth is I Neve liked kids. Never. I m the youngest of my family, and being a baal teshuva, I never had any contact with children before. I never hold a baby before my daughter was born.  

I used to think that it would be fine when it would come to my own kid, but I'm scared I will not be a good father to her. I  want to be a kid person (as much as it's possible for me ) and feel close to my daughter. 

If someone was in the same situation , please talk to me. If you have any advice, please gve it to me. And most of all, if there are any books to recommend that could help me , I would appreciate it a lot. .


Thanks a lot guys, Shavua tov

Wow, sounds like me...

Have no fear, all in due time. Your wife is probably right, you are a great father. I assume this is your first and everything is new, that can be a little overwhelming. 

When my wife came home the first time with our daughter, it was really strange, as if it wasn't real life. We were all alone in our apartment (both our parents live very far) and had this little live baby...

I also thought I hated kids but I guess it's different when it's yours. Give it some time, when she starts smiling giggling etc. she will melt your heart.

Enjoy this new stage of life! much nachas.

By the way there are many great resources on child rearing if you are interested. 

Mazal Tov!

Welcome! Same thing for me, youngest child, ba'al teshuva, first baby was a daughter. This is MY story!

Ya, I say just keep giving and going and the feelings will come, I really don't think there's any problem. Why would we feel close to our kid first time? She takes up all my wife's time, I don't have any more freedom, it's a difficult time. But now we have four kids and love them all.