For the past year I've been a bochur in yeshiva, and as of about a month ago, when I got rid of all internet on my smartphone and installed webchaver for my laptop, I was doing great. I thought that I had finally found the solution. But since coronavirus hit and I've come back home from yeshiva, I'm now surrounded by computers belonging to my family members that are totally unrestricted and I'm panicking. I've been home for a couple weeks and I've already failed twice, any ideas? I'm nowhere near ready (and don't know if I'll ever be) to confront my family about my issue, so I don't think installing filters on their computers is a real option. Feeling really stuck, would love some advice.

seems like no one's here. probably everyone's dealing with the same issue...

strivingforbetter wrote on 24 Mar 2020 05:03:

Hi , 
Indeed this is a major issue for many people now. 
How about discussing with your family members that putting on filters is a big zechus for the current corona situation? 
You don't need to disclose your struggles to them if you approach it in an assertive matter. 

The number one guideline for using technology today is filters. There is no heter to have any device without a very good filter which blocks all מראות אסורות and anything that a person shouldn’t see. This applies no matter the age, and no matter what kind of device it is (computer or phone). And it should be a good filter that was made with frum yidden in mind (examples: Gentech, Netspark, NativUSA) and not a filter made by goyim that isn’t worth much.

The michshol of having open internet is so big that it’s embarrassing that we even need to mention the importance of filters. But this inyan needs constant chizuk for two reasons:

1) It’s easy not to find the time to “get around to it” or we just upgraded our device and didn’t put it back on yet (and then we forget to). Some people say they are sure they won’t be nichshal, so they push off putting on a filter.

2) No filters are perfect and have everything we want open, open, and everything we want closed, closed. Filters can be bothersome and are never foolproof (although they are getting better all the time). So yes, it may be a bother, it may cost money, and they won’t be perfect. But consider the hefsed against the s'char. Filters are a fence against שאול תחתית ממש!

That's really tough!! 

If you have your own devices make a rule that you won't use other peoples that aren't filtered. Even if only you know about the rule, stick to it!

Also, come on to GYE and start a 90 days clean forum. It will help you stay strong in these tougher than normal times.