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Looking for a feasible plan
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TOPIC: Looking for a feasible plan 1517 Views

Looking for a feasible plan 01 Feb 2019 19:12 #338775

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I have always, since I was a bachur, (now I'm a grandfather) had issues with shmiras ainayim. At this point if I would not have internet, I would probably not have much issue at this time. Except for an occasional glance here and there on the street, or maybe not even since I would probably never be in a spree situation. But with the internet, I have a real problem. I have a good filter, but every now and then, I try to get around it and I manage to get some bad things, not the worst things because those can't pass the filter, but bad enough. Certainly things which a Torah abiding person may not view because of velo sasuru. Then lest often but maybe once or twice a year, when for some reason my filter gets disabled, as it did yesterday, out of nothing I have have done, just for some cause unknown to me, then sometimes I fall with porn, as I did yesterday and today. Just an hour ago I sent a message to my filter provider to reconnect the filter. They haven't done that yet, but I don't think I'm in imminent danger, (though I can't be sure). The reason I have internet, or otherwise stated, the things I use the internet for, are:
  • Email
  • Banking
  • Searching for workers
  • Shopping
  • Matzav and The Yeshiva World for news 
  • Maybe some other things which I can't think of now.

I would have a hard time giving up these things, and some of them I truly feel that I need and would have a very hard time managing without. That's why I don't have a plan. I have a plan for other things. Such as, sometimes there are cases in business or being asked advice, and I made a rule that I don't meet with women alone. I follow that rule and all is well. I can manage having that rule. But what realistic plan could I devise for this?

If anyone has real advice from real knowledge or experience, then I would appreciate your advice.

Re: Looking for a feasible plan 03 Feb 2019 02:30 #338783

  • Markz
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Welcome AP!

Not sure I can help with any master plan, but the end of my thread may give you some plan of sorts - at least it's what works for me beH
And the matzav with ywn is not good and it's always good to try dig in and ask ourselves why do we feel empty that we need to run to such outlets and rile up the anti anti anti vaxxers
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Last Edit: 03 Feb 2019 03:03 by Markz.

Re: Looking for a feasible plan 03 Feb 2019 14:11 #338786

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Thank you. You are really right about YWN and Matzav. It's all problematic behavior. But some of the things I mentioned and some others I think I need. I would love to see what works for you. Could you please explain where I can find the things you say are at " the end of my thread" 

Re: Looking for a feasible plan 03 Feb 2019 21:16 #338791

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Ok. I found what you're referring to. I want to do web chaver. But I don't have anyone in my life that I would designate as a web chaver. That would require me to tell them that I need that and I don't have anyone who I could tell such a thing. Any suggestions?

Re: Looking for a feasible plan 03 Feb 2019 21:18 #338792

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This is where I'm up to now. Once I have done this step, I will be looking further into other aspect of correcting my issue.

Re: Looking for a feasible plan 03 Feb 2019 23:05 #338793

  • colincolin
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A plan

Is it lust driving you to look at these images, or something else such as not being happy or being lonely?

The filter is the "stick" but I think it works best when there is a "carrot", something to provide positive motivation and an alternative activity too.
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