Is there such a thing?
Over the past few weeks I dove in full force, busy all day with friends from GYE, friends from PA, friends from SA, therapists, reading the big black book, the almost as big white book, sneaking to meetings, etc etc.
I feel much more like I'm living a double life now than I did before...
Just like before I can't concentrate on work, learning, davening, chatting with my wife, etc.
Anyone ever experience this before?
Are there any Recoverholics Anonymous groups? I'd love to find more groups I can join...

1.  ACTUALLY DO THE STEPWORK

2. The purpose of the reading is to either LEARN HOW TO DO STEPWORK or to keep me focused on the program, and not "let my guard down".   Don't subsitute reading literature for the actual STEPWORK

3. you are trying to sovle you own problem...   wrong.      What happened to Let go, and let God?            Surrender.   That's all the program asks of you.           

let me elaborate....
     Not acting out on NATURAL and even the HEALTHY lust cravings.  How do i do that?   By feeling the "humbling-awe" of surrender. Because for some reason it is IMPOSSIBLE for lust to co-exist with "surrender".        I ask all the married guys here (who learn surrender) to try this one out with this wives. I have experimented with it many time in the 'bedroom' (with my wife's permission). even the most heightened state of arousal can be neutralized within less than a minute by bringing yourself to a state of surrender-humbled/awe. 


And this is just "the first step".           in steps 2-3, you find someone who CAN and WILL resolve all your fears-worries-angers-guilt.  G-d.          in steps 4-9 you start identifying that emotional baggage, the more you identify the more you got off your chest.         steps 10-11 is just keeping steps 2-9 up to date.     and step 12 is irrelivant for now.

ACTUALLY DO THE STEPWORK