There is a blog known as the Long War Journal which began in 2007 documenting the war on terror. The name rings with me. My struggle is going to be my long war. There will be battle after battle, some will be won, others lost. 

I am 40 years old and have struggled with MZL as long as I can remember. I grew up modern frum in a house that took the medical/science route on this issue as being healthy. By the time I got older and learned more, I was trapped. 

Lately, I have experiences a few minor parnassa/health issues which gave me pause. It was the shot across the bow that I needed for serious introspection. Long story short, I am not in control, G-d is. And if G-d is in control, what am I doing callously making excuses for aveiros that will keep me from olam haba. 

I initially joined this group in 2013 when Hashem sent me my first shot across the bow. I think I hit 50-60 days or something like that. Then as soon as I had my first fall, the yetzer hora had an opening that he capitalized on and I haven't really gotten up until now. I feel that I am blessed in that I am not necessarily addicted to websites or other material, but my acting out was a symptom of emptiness/loneliness/boredom/etc. There were times I acted out for no reason whatsoever, I was just bored. 

But this is it. This is the long war that I am committed to. I want to do complete tshuva. For what it's worth, I thought I'd share a few things that have helped me.
1. Commit. Realize that the intent is to win every single battle. There is no defeat. In the past, I realized that planning for how to deal with a fall in excess gives the Y'H an opening to allow it to happen. "A fall won't be so bad, you'll just keep going", the YH says.
2. Learn as much as humanly possible about this subject. You need a constant stream of chizzuk, even on good days.
3. Learn how your Y'H works, then outsmart him. The best way to win a fight is to avoid one.
4. Create a fuse breaker in your mind that immediately flips in your mind when an impure thought enters. For instance, as soon as something enters your mind, within 1 second focus your mind on something like olam haba, the parsha, etc. The key is to flip the breaker immediately.  
5. Learn about the bracha that is promised to those that fight their temptation.

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. As far as learning about this subject i think a first education is to once and for all destroy the mantra/belief that one NEEDS to ejaculate. Although pleasurable it is but an urge. Unlike eating and sleeping it is not a need. When hunger or exhaustion are pushed off, they return with a vengeance. When one has a strong urge to masturbate even if already erect... but distracts himself, the urge disappears. Gone. Its all in the head.  Keep posting. We are here to help...

Yes, learning that as well. So far successful. Learning the difference between acting out and the responsibilities of a husband, but that's for another forum. 

The increase in Torah learning is very helpful, it seems I can now sit longer and concentrate better then I have in years. I'm not a great learner a but I'm enjoying it quite a bit. This will hopefully help with the teshuva process.

airmale613 wrote on 02 Jan 2019 01:42:

If you mean that that info should be presented on a married's only forum, I am not sure that that is correct. Any single guy who has viewed pornography unfortunately has an extremely warped concept of sexuality. He has embedded in his brain images that he believes are representations for what takes place in the bedrooms of married couples. He may even G-d forbid look at his parents and rebbeim as perverted people doing erotic animalistic acts behind closed doors. We cant wait for engagement to begin to rewire him and set him straight. He needs to know that all the tzaddikim of all generations had the Shechina with them when they elevated themselves with this mitzva. Proper intimacy is about giving, not the selfish pleasure taking & using and abusing a partner, portrayed on the computer. The act is one of kedusha and menucha, not of adrenalin rushing "excitement". There is nothing triggering in sharing this with a bochur. In fact, it may be a powerful impetus for him to once and for all detach from pornography. His interest in stopping to watch will now be for a much deeper cause than fear that his wife will catch him. It will be because he does not chas v'shalom want to enter the bedroom with plans ideas and strategies how to act out the abominations that he poisoned his brain with. If anyone feels otherwise, please feel free to disagree. 

Very well said!

Us single guys need to hear the proper way, approach and altitude one should be having towards intamicy, however going into details might be better off being discussed  in the balei batim forums. It is triggering as least for me..

Amazingly said Reb Yid!

Day 31:
So far so good. Figuring out the little tricks of the Y'H. This morning I woke up and felt that I will be strong today with little chance of a fall. This afternoon a thought popped into my head that could have derailed me, but BH the fuse breaker went off and I diverted my mind within a second or two.
Feeling good overall. Wondering how much teshuva would be enough for 30 years of tumah.

Regarding intimacy: maybe we could compile various posts  from the Baal habatim section  that cover the proper mindset and hashkafos and how to achieve that despite being warped like  HHM said -and make it available for chasanim or  guys dating .
I personally completely changed my mindset and actions after reading and absorbing some of the fantastic insightful threads , and lets be honest and face reality nowadays its so hard not to be exposed to the false ideas out there and even if someones mind is not all porned up theres always room to grow.

That's the yetzer hora talking. Hashem is embracing you right now for your efforts to come clean, even if you are not yet completely out of the mess. A moment of purity is like a candle. One tiny candle dispels many cubic feet of darkness. So too, one moment of dveikus b'Hashem banishes years of distance from Him.

i-man wrote on 03 Jan 2019 00:45:

Markz has an uncanny memory and probably knows every GYE post that has ever been entered. Maybe he could compile such a collection of such posts for what you suggest.

airmale613 wrote on 31 Dec 2018 16:15:

Hi I've heard the guys who keep the long war journal being interviewed plenty of times- it sounds awful as we know it's a long painful war without much gained - are you sure that's the stage you want to set for  yourself? 
One day at a time could be a much better strategy 

Hatzlacha
keep posting

Hashem Help Me wrote on 03 Jan 2019 04:04:

Markz is a rockstar!
I think it's a lot of work because theres so much excellent material - would really make a great kuntris..
I do wonder though does it all make a differance if your not seriously working on the lusting?

Whoever is able to make such a kuntrois is the "tzadik hadoir" of gye!!

I'm not gonna write titles cuz there's too much to say and really no words, we desperately need such a thing, I'll speak for myself, my mind is extremely warped to "intamicy" exactly how hhm described it!

My issue is that I know my weaknesses and the one day at a time doesn't really work as well for me as preparing for a long drawn out war, which to me this really is. The difference here is that I am making immense gains in this area and in my yiddishkeit overall.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 03 Jan 2019 04:04:

Thanks

My short term memory is even better and according to my last recall, I'm what they call  אה דורש ולא נאה מקיים in the intimacy topic you seek, so it may be better if you can find a substitute. 
I think Gibbor120 had some Dov posts and Yechida has great stuff too