Hi 
I always used to feel very weak and light headed and horrible feeling for a few days after i would be MZ, and i always thought that everyone was like that but then i realised that it appears i am over sensitive to letting out seed. Yes i used to enjoy the orgasm etc and the pleasure but i would always hate the after feeling, which was always a negative for me and would very occasionally stop me from acting out.
Today on 83 days sober for the first time ever in my life, still occasionally have wet dreams, and then have these feelings for the day or two after, even though i didnt want to waste the seed ? And also now starting shidduchim, always wondered will i have the same feelings when having kosher sex, i hope not, because i hate that after feeling, but dont see why it should be any different to any other letting out seed.
So was just wondering today if anyone else relates to these strong physical after effects, and how they minimize the effects? do you eat certain foods, take vitamins or just carry on with life like normal even with those feelings ?
Interesting article i came across on importance of sperm retension
https://guardyoureyes.com/articles/tips-suggestions/item/the-benefits-of-sperm-retentionnofap
Thanks. Wishing everyone a sober, lust free day.

hi, i also have that feeling by kosher  sex , although its not for a few days,maybe till ,the next morning, although when i was a bachur i would have it for a few days ,headaches too,which i attributed it to depression /sadness from falling into such an aveira,also  there are times that i would do mb  more than once a day then i really felt tired ,i think scientificaly there is something released to make someone tired since the purpose of the ta`ava was fulfilled, to have children,hopefully,there is an expression that a mans best friend after being together with his wife is his pillow.
how do you know that you have something unusual , you asked your dr.? do you steadaly get the hours sleep that your body needs?alot of people are negligent in that, so that plus zera levatala surely adds to the tiredness,the Rambam says that the zera of a man is kocho shel adam, the strength of a man.
im sure there are vitamins  that take care of the tiredness  which i assume you shouldnt take if that will cause you to act out, youre not tired now , i assume.
hatzlacha , and im happy you stopped 83 days , i wish you more and more days , i myself stopped a year before my chasuna BH and it really was a great foundation to start a marriage with,may you find your basherta very quickly!
p.s. on days that i act out im more tired then when i have kosher sex, and i attribute it to sadness for doing such a sin ,hatzlacha.

ieeyc wrote on 27 Mar 2018 15:51:

Hi Thanks for reply. What im referring to is not depression or sadness, its actually physical feelings more then just tiredness, ie stomach goes funny, i feel drained in my body and no energy to do anything, lazy sort of feeling my eyesight feels weaker etc etc.. cant think
I have not asked anyone but just assuming that because no one ever complains about these things to the extent that i do and also other people just get on with the life, even after mb many times even if they are doing hard activities after.... Just was my assumption. and no i should prob get better hours sleep, but i am not  majorly tired ever and deff seen better feelings since stopping to act out and just in general happier and one thing for sure my learning has been amazing.
Amen thanks. and yea so u are saying its deff different when involved in kosher sex - mitzvah ?

Ps when did u let ur wife know about your struggles and when do you recommend telling if at anytime ?? 

Highroller wrote on 27 Mar 2018 16:10:


I do not relate and cannot advise about this. Just wanted to point out, Dr. Sarno has a whole methodology based on, that physical ailments are caused by emotional distress.
This concept has its roots in Rishonim. See the mefarshim on Birchas Asher Yatzer and Ramba"m Hilchos Deios

Keep up your good work. You are truly amazing!
Hatzlocha Rabba!

hi,"What im referring to is not depression or sadness, its actually physical feelings more then just tiredness, ie stomach goes funny, i feel drained in my body and no energy to do anything, lazy sort of feeling my eyesight feels weaker etc etc.. cant think"
besides the stomach thats what  i felt like when i was a bachur,when i act out now i might feel something like that, but due to  family responsibility i cant let myself be lazy ,tired ,the kids and wife will notice, think it strange,get worried,but if i was a bachelor  ,id probably be laying in bed alot,

"I have not asked anyone but just assuming that because no one ever complains about these things to the extent that i do and also other people just get on with the life, even after mb many times even if they are doing hard activities after.... Just was my assumption."
please forgive me for saying this ,dont know who you are, my mother was a big complainer ,my back, neck,etc... so that makes me a complainer and i feel my energy is sapped more than others who might be experiencing the same thing, mean to say just because they dont verbaly complain, could be thats their parents chinuch, happy go lucky ,but could be they do feel the same,just deal with it etc, how do you know that they mb many times by the way?assumption?
"so u are saying its deff different when involved in kosher sex - mitzvah ?"

since by me the tiredness came from sadness from the sin, i deffinitly feel a difference  after a sin and after a mitzva
hope my answer helped,as far as telling your wife thats a question for the experts here and elsewhere ,i fell after 10 years of marriage and MY  wife  i feel would not be able to handle it ,
be well and keep it up!

Thanks for reply and for giving me this knowledge.

Who is Dr Sarno and where i can read his articles, listen to his speeches ?

Which meforshim are u refering to?



Thanks

Highroller wrote on 27 Mar 2018 17:41:

Dr. Sarno passed away this past year.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_E._Sarno

His books are available on Amazon. There is a ton of info freely available online.

If you are in Brooklyn, there is a Rabbi Katz that gives lectures every couple of weeks explaining the process. You can reach him at 718-232-2741.

Unfortunately, I don't remember where I saw the Meforshim. I learned it a nice couple of years ago.

Be well!

After marital sex there is a natural tiredness; usually one sleeps very well after a successful experience. For some reason, after masturbation, there is extreme exhaustion, sometimes nausea - which may be a combination of that tiredness and some emotional fallout. The two experiences are not comparable. Fulfillment vs emptiness.  

Thanks for that reply and I'm really hoping that, that is the case, fulfilment sex will have a different feeling.

it is..
however thats not so simple once we have a bad habit/addiction/disease of porn and masturbation it sort of interferes and messes everything up ... BH youre working on this now and iyh you can go into marriage in a healthy state.

hatzlacha!

I remember very well that "zombie" feeling after acting out, especially if it was multiple times in a day or 2. Being with my wife doesn't seem to do that as much, maybe because I usually go to sleep right after anyway. 

​I can also tell you that since I stopped acting out, I am averaging an hour less of sleep a night, yet I have a much easier time getting up for Minyan in the morning.

Producing sperm takes a lot from the body. Naturally, a person will feel drained after the process. I found that this is especially true if I am fighting with myself to not do it. If I start the process, then stop, then continue, then stop etc. I am especially drained after such an ordeal! 
I've been told that the process to create the sperm, and then expel it, uses a lot of fluid. Try drinking a lot of water a few hours before intercourse, and some more the morning after.
Hope this helps.

Very Interesting, never heard that about using a lot of fluid. So are you saying just basic water will take that feeling away???

That is what I heard. I can't say for certain if it works or not. I can say that if you are well hydrated, you will perform better.

Good to know  Gives me another reason to get drink my litres of water every day.