Workingmyprogram,

What you're saying makes a lot of sense. What I'm struggling with is between some of the horror stories I read and whether I really need it vs what you wrote.

It touches on so many of my issues- fearing the worst with medication, thinking I can do it on my own (with therapists), allowing myself to get help. 

Workingguy wrote on 24 Mar 2017 17:43:

I hear you. The beginning is tough because we have so much self hatred and shame, so it's hard to trust the decisions we make for ourselves.  There are also so many self destructive processes at work which get in the way of our healing, which is why we have to rely on others to help us make good decisions.

I don't know if I would refer to taking medication as the "easy way" anymore than I would say a diabetic taking insulin is for him the "easy way".  Medication is not going take away all your problems and make everything perfect. If it does, stop right away lol. Rather, it may help to "even the playing field" for you so you can function normally.  And remember, just because you're trying something, doesn't mean you'll need to do it forever. It's not all or nothing. With that said, taking medication is a highly personal one. I tried an SSRI for about a week for my anxiety and didn't like the side effects, but I tried it and I'm happy I did (but much like you, I felt a little like I was cheating - which is pure gaivah and ego btw).  Ask Hashem for guidance regarding the medication, He will help you.  Hatzlocha.

As a side note, I believe the Rambam makes recommendations about taking St Johns wort in the winter for depression, so he seems to support the concept that Hashem put certain medications in this world to help us function.

Do you still take the SSRI? How long and which one? Can you PM me if you don't want to answer on the forum?

Workingguy wrote on 26 Mar 2017 02:29:

I only tried it for a week and I would have continued but had to stop due to some side effects. However, I have three people in my family who are very high functioning, very successful and productive people, who take an SSRI for anxiety and have had very good results. The one I tried was celexa, but it doesn't really matter since I wasn't on it long enough to gauge the results. If you're considering one, just go with the one your doctor recommends. You may have to try a few different ones before you find the right one, or you may decide it's not for you. Hatzlocha, and may Hashem grant you the ability to use all he created properly.

What were the side effects? The sexual ones? 

Workingguy wrote on 26 Mar 2017 12:27:

FYI the sexual side effects of SSRI medications eventually subside as the body gets used to them. The worst thing to do is panic, because it makes the inability to ejaculate even worse. If you are prepared with the knowledge that these side effects will occur and come to terms with it, they subside relatively quickly. I learned the hard way. Noone prepared me for it and i panicked big time - causing the issue to become even worse. Hatzlocha to all in this parsha. Mental illness is the pits, but BH we have medications and therapies that help us get better.  

Sounds like this would be a good medicine for me to take...

Shlomo24 wrote on 26 Mar 2017 13:24:


Shlomo,

No joke, my therapist once said a while back when I was struggling that maybe I should take an SSRI and the side benefit would be less libido.

But I'm happy that I worked the sexual issue through without it.

Workingguy wrote on 26 Mar 2017 13:42:

No joke. I once heard a psychologist who works with bochurim say publicly that he quite often suggests doctors prescribe low dose anti anxiety meds for high school age bochurim who are really having it rough with masturbation, being that the drug lowers the nisayon along with the acoompanying anxiety that often triggers the urge (and creates a catch 22 - anxious, masturbates, anxious about the aveira, masturbates again etc).   Personally i am uncomfortable with that being done except in very severe cases and with tremendous yishuv ha'daas, but then again this psychologist is in the trenches..............

No, I think I just felt nauseous, but it's really of no consequence to you because everybody reacts differently and if one SSRI doesn't work, another may. 

I've done that many times.

serenity wrote on 26 Mar 2017 18:13:

Done what many times?

I've  been having some anxiety lately. Today it's been creeping up on me all day. I did a breathing meditation and that helped. I decided to go to a meeting tonight and make sure to share. I'm also going to help someone else get to the meeting. Helping others helps me. Also I need to a good amount of regular sleep and I've been staying up to late. I'm working  on eating healthier which is big contributing factor for me. I haven't taken medication for anxiety so I can't speak to that. 

While I'm here I wanted to share a prayer that I need for today. God, help me to surrender for today. Let not my ego get in the way of my usefulness to others. Help me to clear my mind of selfish thoughts. Remind me that my best thinking is what brought me down the road of addiction. Let me be open to others and non-judgmental of myself and others. Remind me that what works for me may not work for others and that I don't have to save people. It is You God and only You that can save me from myself and save others.

serenity wrote on 26 Mar 2017 18:19:

Nice to see you back, in all your glory.