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To tell or not to tell
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: To tell or not to tell 15838 Views

Re: To tell or not to tell 14 Feb 2017 21:55 #305870

  • gibbor120
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If you feel close enough to tell him straight out - Great.  (We often debate whether or not a person should tell his wife.  That is an entirely different thing.)  If you are close to your father, and willing to open up to him - go for it.  Then let us know how it went.

Re: To tell or not to tell 14 Feb 2017 21:56 #305871

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thatslife wrote on 14 Feb 2017 20:31:
thanks all of you i'm still amazed at the amazing people on gye. but i still don't understand why i can't go and tell my father straight out. of course without all the gory details. but what would be the problem?


Some were worried about how daddy would take the information, with him possibly reacting in an unhealthy way.

Shlomo described very scary consequences that presented itself when he opened up to his parents.

However, your relationship with your father and his openness sounds different than what he experienced.

If you are still uncomfortable with telling him straight, HHM had an idea to kind of gauge what your father's view and feelings would be towards you if he found out.

What do you think of his plan?

Hatzlacha!
Last Edit: 14 Feb 2017 22:00 by fresh start.

Re: To tell or not to tell 14 Feb 2017 22:57 #305876

  • Workingguy
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I have no problem with you telling him straight out. The gory details aren't necessary. You can just say you have a problem with porn and masturbation and tell the gory details to a therapist

Re: To tell or not to tell 15 Feb 2017 02:56 #305895

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If that's how you feel go ahead and do just that. We will daven for you that it go well. Please let us know what happens.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

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Re: To tell or not to tell 15 Feb 2017 03:20 #305899

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thatslife wrote on 14 Feb 2017 20:31:
thanks all of you i'm still amazed at the amazing people on gye. but i still don't understand why i can't go and tell my father straight out. of course without all the gory details. but what would be the problem?

I feel like my concerns aren't being heard. I would definitely admit the gory details. You're dad is emotionally attached to you. Emotional decisions usually aren't the best ones.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: To tell or not to tell 15 Feb 2017 20:16 #305963

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Shlomo24 wrote on 15 Feb 2017 03:20:

thatslife wrote on 14 Feb 2017 20:31:
thanks all of you i'm still amazed at the amazing people on gye. but i still don't understand why i can't go and tell my father straight out. of course without all the gory details. but what would be the problem?

I feel like my concerns aren't being heard. I would definitely admit the gory details. You're dad is emotionally attached to you. Emotional decisions usually aren't the best ones.

can you please explain?
Don't take life too seriously:wink:

Re: To tell or not to tell 15 Feb 2017 22:13 #305965

  • shlomo24
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Maybe we could speak over the phone? My number is in my signature. You can use *67, I don't mind. Also, I think it would be helpful to be in one on one contact, please email me at iam24zman@gmail.com.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
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