Welcome, Guest

I was already so good and now...bang!
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: I was already so good and now...bang! 10640 Views

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 03:24 #299434

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
I have heard many times that "You hit bottom when you stop digging." I hit bottom many times. 
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 03:27 #299435

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
Also, in reference to your title, you're still good. There may have been a "bang!" but you're still good.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 05:58 #299440

  • Aliyahman3
  • Current streak: 9 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 17
  • Karma: 0
Lovely Jew you must be in a lot of pain and that is terrible I can't imagine what you're going through. From the intellectual point of view though (and you've probably heard their good to read it gain if this could give you chizuk) is that HASHEM DOESNT WANT OUR NUMBERS OUR STATS OR OUR STREAKS. It's hard for me to write this and I'm not sure how real this is to me if it is real at all (hopefully one day) but the point is clear that HASHEM wants ur heart. Our relationship our love. 
Hear out this mashal that I would think of often. 
I love to learn and I am blessed with a gifted ability to learn in iyun and remember Gemaras etc etc and I've also always felt a spiritual connection through learning Gemara. However I also always loved the feeling of knowing and finishing and looking like a Masmid which is more to the negative side of things- and anyone who has learned knows that the pages you spend a lot of time on get blackened and it is clearly visible from looking at ones Gemara which blatt he really learned well and how many etc. I often looked and checked "how black is it" or "how many are black" and I would be upset that I thought this way!!! One thing I would tell myself is- HASHEM doesn't want the black pages. He wants our Torah. He doesn't look at how black the pages are he doesn't look at external things. He understands us better than we understand ourselves and loves us and only wants a relationship with us. He loves you for every day you're clean and every struggle and that you're getting back up and CONTINUING. 
Dont get discouraged - a Rebbi recently gave me a lot of chizuk after a recent big fall I had and I had gotten very discouraged. Like very very very very discouraged given up HOPE type of discouraged. He told me that I was like the guy who built a beautiful house and then fell off the roof onto the ground. He looked up in despair and cried out oh no the house has fallen. We look at him as a fool - of course the house didn't fall!!!! He fell!!!! But in reality we really do this all the time ! Your long streak is with you forever it's yours. It didn't fall you fell. Shake off the dust get back up and KEEP WALKING KEEP CLIMBING YOURE NOT STARTING AGAIN. 
HASHEM should help you and me and all of us please please please to grow closer to him really really really and be healthy human beings and happy people and please him as the real loving princes we are. 

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 11:34 #299448

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12074
  • Karma: 652
Aliyahman3 wrote on 08 Dec 2016 05:58:
Lovely Jew you must be in a lot of pain and that is terrible I can't imagine what you're going through. From the intellectual point of view though (and you've probably heard their good to read it gain if this could give you chizuk) is that HASHEM DOESNT WANT OUR NUMBERS OUR STATS OR OUR STREAKS. It's hard for me to write this and I'm not sure how real this is to me if it is real at all (hopefully one day) but the point is clear that HASHEM wants ur heart. Our relationship our love. 
Hear out this mashal that I would think of often. 
I love to learn and I am blessed with a gifted ability to learn in iyun and remember Gemaras etc etc and I've also always felt a spiritual connection through learning Gemara. However I also always loved the feeling of knowing and finishing and looking like a Masmid which is more to the negative side of things- and anyone who has learned knows that the pages you spend a lot of time on get blackened and it is clearly visible from looking at ones Gemara which blatt he really learned well and how many etc. I often looked and checked "how black is it" or "how many are black" and I would be upset that I thought this way!!! One thing I would tell myself is- HASHEM doesn't want the black pages. He wants our Torah. He doesn't look at how black the pages are he doesn't look at external things. He understands us better than we understand ourselves and loves us and only wants a relationship with us. He loves you for every day you're clean and every struggle and that you're getting back up and CONTINUING. 
Dont get discouraged - a Rebbi recently gave me a lot of chizuk after a recent big fall I had and I had gotten very discouraged. Like very very very very discouraged given up HOPE type of discouraged. He told me that I was like the guy who built a beautiful house and then fell off the roof onto the ground. He looked up in despair and cried out oh no the house has fallen. We look at him as a fool - of course the house didn't fall!!!! He fell!!!! But in reality we really do this all the time ! Your long streak is with you forever it's yours. It didn't fall you fell. Shake off the dust get back up and KEEP WALKING KEEP CLIMBING YOURE NOT STARTING AGAIN. 
HASHEM should help you and me and all of us please please please to grow closer to him really really really and be healthy human beings and happy people and please him as the real loving princes we are. 

So what does that mean practically to you?
 He doesn't want your numbers, He wants your heart.
Now, what should he therefore do?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 13:21 #299452

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
Inspiration without action is like French Fries without ketchup. It just don't work for me.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Last Edit: 08 Dec 2016 16:09 by shlomo24.

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 13:58 #299453

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12074
  • Karma: 652
Shlomo24 wrote on 08 Dec 2016 13:21:
Inspiration without action is like French Fries  without ketchup. It just don't work for me.

Fish without chrein,
herring without crackers,
Baseball game without peanuts,
 learning without a rebbe,
 exercise without a headband,
 football without cheerleaders,
 Chinese auction with no prizes,
 band with no bass (no treble),
 sex with no partner,
 coffee without milk,

Do you get shlomo's drift?

Work it!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1Page 2Page 3Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 14:10 #299454

  • Aliyahman3
  • Current streak: 9 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 17
  • Karma: 0
Well actually I think it's pretty obvious that the only practical step here (if by practical you mean a physical action) is to keep movig forward. I guess I was just sharing advice regarding the practical attitude one could get GET himself into, as it had impacted me. I hope it could help others .... 

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 15:24 #299455

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
Aliyahman3 wrote on 08 Dec 2016 14:10:
Well actually I think it's pretty obvious that the only practical step here (if by practical you mean a physical action) is to keep movig forward. I guess I was just sharing advice regarding the practical attitude one could get GET himself into, as it had impacted me. I hope it could help others .... 

Kind sir: May I ask what the practical application of "moving forward" is? Do I need a truck for that?

(According to Mark, yes).
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Last Edit: 08 Dec 2016 15:25 by shlomo24.

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 15:49 #299457

  • Aliyahman3
  • Current streak: 9 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 17
  • Karma: 0
CONTINUING with the tools that helped you get that far and finding what could use tweaking and correction but not giving up the fight. I was just offering a perspective that could be mechazeik- not everything works for everyone. You have to try what works for you. In the chizuk department I think it's helpful at least for me to keep what I wrote in mind 

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 16:07 #299459

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
Got it. And what if one hasn't found success with the tools he is using?
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 16:10 #299460

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
cordnoy wrote on 08 Dec 2016 13:58:

Yada, Yada, Yada.

Work it!

As RiRi says: "There's something 'bout that work, work, work, work, work, work."
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 16:46 #299461

  • Aliyahman3
  • Current streak: 9 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 17
  • Karma: 0
Look for new ones! There are plenty of resources out there and a whole community of GYE members, therapists etc. Everyone is at a different level in their struggle and different things work for different people. Some are at the level of an addict some not. Some have no control over porn and some have no control over cheating on their wives! This is a complicated struggle with different levels but one thing is clear and that is that no matter what HASHEM is in this with every one of us fighting our fight and we just have to try to ingrained that in our daily minutely secondly life. 

Personally what hat tools help me? Well I got an idea from the GYE HANDBOOK and that is to make an accountability group with friends that if any member messes up (whatever that connotes) then each guy has to pay 50 bucks to the tzedaka of their choice and the one who messed up has to tell someone they're embarrassed to tell. Such as a Random rabbi that you're scared of or whatever. Idk that personally works for me as a practical tool. Whatever. Hope that you can relate to that in some way .... 

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 16:59 #299462

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8282
  • Karma: 427
Why a random one?
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 17:02 #299463

  • shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 135
Aliyahman3 wrote on 08 Dec 2016 16:46:
Look for new ones! There are plenty of resources out there and a whole community of GYE members, therapists etc. Everyone is at a different level in their struggle and different things work for different people. Some are at the level of an addict some not. Some have no control over porn and some have no control over cheating on their wives! This is a complicated struggle with different levels but one thing is clear and that is that no matter what HASHEM is in this with every one of us fighting our fight and we just have to try to ingrained that in our daily minutely secondly life. 

Personally what hat tools help me? Well I got an idea from the GYE HANDBOOK and that is to make an accountability group with friends that if any member messes up (whatever that connotes) then each guy has to pay 50 bucks to the tzedaka of their choice and the one who messed up has to tell someone they're embarrassed to tell. Such as a Random rabbi that you're scared of or whatever. Idk that personally works for me as a practical tool. Whatever. Hope that you can relate to that in some way .... 

I feel bad if there are any addicts in that chevra. Sucks for him.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: I was already so good and now...bang! 08 Dec 2016 17:03 #299464

  • Aliyahman3
  • Current streak: 9 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 17
  • Karma: 0
No - I was just giving an example. I don't mean a random one I just mean one that we're scared of. Like we don't pick the Rebbi that one of us is super close to and knows everything about us- because there's no shame in telling him for the most part. We want it to be a Rebbi that will make us think twice or three times before we would act out. 
Time to create page: 0.65 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes