These are all the things I've tried, and a score out of 10 of how effective they've been for me:
| Tool | Score /10 | Comments |
| Therapist | 7 | This was very helpful. The problem is that it costs money, which depending on your situation might make it hard to maintain. Also it's important to find someone that is right for you. But being able to talk about it with someone instead of holding it all inside - that was a big one for me. |
| Gym | 8 | This has been excellent for me. It takes up time and gives me something to do (so alleviates boredom which can lead to sin), it relieves stress (so makes me less anxious and feel less of a need to "act out" to relieve stress), it makes me feel good (so more optimistic and better placed to make better decisions). Oh yeah, and it makes me healthier. (I know there are potentially tsniut issues with going to the gym. See if you can find the right gym for you, or otherwise do exercise elsewhere. But it's easier to remain committed to if it is with a group. I think it's up to the individual to determine if it is a good option for you or not). |
| Books | 10 | Reading self-help books, books on positive psychology, achieving goals, making better decisions, forming habits, etc. This was the most helpful for me. I put many of the tools recommended into practice and it has had a tremendous impact on my life. And it's free! Your local library is bound to have some of these books. |
| Posting on the forum | 6 | This has been good. I can't say I've posted here a lot. The biggest thing was just finding out that there are others out there struggling with the same thing. And that everyone is supportive of everyone else. |
| Internet Filters | 9 | Filters are huge. Without filters you are like a recovering alcoholic living on top of a bar. It just isn't going to work. This was the first step for me to retrain my habits |
| Smartphone filter | 2 | This has been the hardest. I resisted having a smart phone for ages but eventually had to get one for work. The iPhone has good restrictions, I've turned off internet browsing and downloading apps. The problem is you need someone to hold the code. I have someone who holds it for me but I eventually get it back and then oh no. You really either need a device without internet access, or someone to hold the code who understands the addiction and will make sure you don't get it back and fall into the rabbit-hole of sin. |
| Knas (fine) | 5 | I've just started this one. Whenever I sin, I make a donation to tzedakah of $40. Not too much, but just enough that every time I fall it starts to add up very quickly. The issues with this are making yourself make the donation, and also you might even feel that you have the right to sin because you will be making a donation as kaparah afterwards. Anyway, only just started giving this a go so I will see how well it works. |
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That's all I've tried so far. I've been on this recovery journey about 4 years now. It ain't that easy, but the rewards are immense. I'm not perfect and still recovering. But much much better than where I was when I started. Just sharing my thoughts to all.
Shana tova l'kulam. I wish everyone that this next year will bring success for all of us over the yetzer harah!
