Ok guys here is my newest struggle thats driving me nuts. This Friday i attended a conference/ professional course (to be accurate) in my career field. I sat right near the typical stereo type  women that I have always been fantasizing about for years. (very good looking, and very smart, witty and spunky. The type of female tjat literally lite's up the room.) To top it off we chatted over lunch and sort of hit it off in terms of personality. And my field is a very dry field thus this was a rarity. You could imagine its driving me nuts and was making me crazy a whole shabbps

I do realize that I won't truly get her out of my head unless I rid myself of lust. So I know I am to blame, But if there is anyone else out there who has went thru this and has advice it would be appreciated.

Sounds like the story of boaz and ruth in the "dry field"

HaRav Waydown,

I'm not sure how different this is from your other thread. I have a feeling you know pretty much what the oilam would say.

Personally I'd like to know what you think about all this. What do you think you should do?

LOL!!! except here its a one way street. At lest thank g-d I doubt she has an interest in me. Although like I once posted it only takes one.

Or as Warren Buffet once said, "It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently."

I can relate to your situation with a story that happened to me on Friday: I was on a lengthy bus trip somewhere for Shabbos and next to me sits this good looking girl(to keep it vague). the first little while I was successful in not thinking about anything but after awhile thoughts started coming in to my mind and as hard as I tried I couldn't budge them. The thoughts were so prevalent that even on Shabbos when I was tired and off guard I was thinking about it. B"H I am not fantasizing anymore but I am haunted that in time of weakness I will. Only advice to give you and myself is to not dwell on it and keep buy with other activities. Any other advice?
Not sure if this helps anyone, just had to get it off my chest
Thanks for reading

Avoid meeting her.

The only way I stopped thinking of past relationships or specific fantasies was by stopping to lust.

When I have had specific triggers with people I knew, (chavrusas, etc.), what helped me was to view them as a human and not objectify them. How did I do that? I surrendered it to God and asked him to help me view "x" as a person and not as a sex object. I also would pray for them, which I think helped. If I had to look at them, I tried to look in there eyes and that is it, praying to God throughout. Usually it took some time, but they wore off eventually. I also find that the more steeped I am in lust, the more triggering these things are, if I'm not as deep in lust then usually I can move on quicker.

waydown

I do not know your circumstances.
Are you married?
Was this woman Jewish?

Even if you are married and this was a non-Jewish woman, I think it is natural to have some feelings after meeting an attractive intelligent woman.

I find this happens to me to, but the feelings pass after a few days.

If they do not, then take extra care of your actions, but do not be hard on yourself. Instead, be nice and do enjoyable things, do not punish yourself for feeling this way.  Your psyche is merely responding to a natural stimulus.

No

Chatting over lunch was planned whether conciously or more likely subconsciously

That was where the point of struggle was and could have been avoided, which I would have done cos I can't take a first sip

Colin and Markz,

Thank you both for your very different approaches. 

For me, obviously the "Markz" approach, avoiding the point is struggle is great, but sometimes my obsession with the issue itself - "how to avoid it" "what should I do now?" etc etc just gets me more involved with issue. .

Sometimes the "Colin" approach is what works - to accept my feelings and that yes, they probably will pass if I don't dwell on them.

Hatzlocho

Markz, It could not have been avoided. We all sat in a room and she happened to park next to us when almost all seats were taken. The chatting was unavoidable. This is no El-Al where I can ask them to change seats.

Very well said thank you.

I hear you
I apologize if I mistook the situation

Now a question for you brother
My young daughter is pestering us to buy her an iPod. What do you think I should do, and I don't know enough about iPods to have a clear opinion

Call TAG and/ or ask a reputable mechanchas.