I've actually had this website bookmarked for over a year now and this is the first time I'm looking at it. I've been so addicted to this world since I was 13, and it's definitely taken over my life a few times in the past. I became a Baal Teshuva about 2 years ago, and I stopped everything cold turkey, but I've slipped back into the darkness. To be honest it doesn't make sense to me sometimes how I can know Hashem is real is His Torah is emet, yet I still do things I know I shouldn't, even with those thoughts in mind during the act. I'm really hoping I can once and for all get over these desires and live a life of holiness, and serve Hashem properly with love and joy!

Hi :-)

In my experience, this works

Welcome stick Around and keep on trucking 

Welcome,

Good move.

Any specific plan in mind? (Not that you need one at first.....just wondering)

Recovery should be with hatzlachah.

Welcome! This is a good place, if I say so myself.

Welcome,

The Gemara says that a person doesn't sin unless a ruach shtus (loosely translated as a spirit of foolishness) goes into him. 

I think at least part of the meaning is that we only sin when the urge overwhelms us so much that we don't care about Hashem and going to hell. Even though we can be thinking of it at the same time we sin. 


Stick around. KOP (keep on posting)

cordnoy wrote:

I don't... But I guess I need one.

AmIsrael wrote:

Why not try 
join the 90 day chart
commit to posting here daily 
try the taphsic method 

The forum says you posted am but I can't see anything 

He updated in the original post. 

@amisrael, it's probably better to post a new post than update your old one. You can do itby clicking the reply button or the reply topic button.

About your fall, there used to be a member here who would say that falls don't happen in a vaccum. You clearly demonstrated that in your post. The fall didn't start when you typed in a porn site. It started with the morning and built up throughout the day.

What can you change to avoid this happening again?

Update: 1 day in and I already fell...
It's crazy because in the morning I had the urge and during it I thought about this website and I said to myself "if you stop right now I'll count it as a slip and not a fall" and in a matter of seconds I stopped. Then comes night time after the gym with many girls I tried not to look at, and one picture on Facebook, nothing could stop me. I even used this site as an excuse saying "remember on the site it said that if you have an addiction that you do 10 times but you only do it 9... That's progress!" And so I decided why not once a week and just fell instantly. It's as if it's impossible for me to win this war if I can turn anything into an excuse to continue this bad habit.

I really don't know what I can change I feel like I've tried everything. The only thing I feel that works is just simply not doing it, but it's easier said than done....

With all due respect, going to a gym with girls, and looking at a picture on facebook is not called that you tried everything. Why dont you try not going to the gym and not going onto facebook? Among other things.

AmIsrael wrote:

AmIsrael

If cordnoy asks me a question, the only Person that can answer it is me, no-one else

If he asked you something, look at the GPS in my signature, and try if possible, to get back to him. 

Follow his Coffee Truck all the way, and you'll get sober with Gd's help!!!

hello AM,
I am tempted by lust, and I usually look at the JHF( just having fun) posts.
To be frank with you, there is no way to sugarcoat lust and temptation or your struggle.

I would pray to Hashem to help you when your mind is overcome my lust.
I wish you hatzlacha.

As far as facebook, I am allowed on only when my parents are around. The desktop isn't filtered so I have to be careful.
You can do it. KOTAP. ( keep on trucking and posting.
Again... Hatzlacha... Shmuly
see my signature... I am a concerned poster offering encouragement.