Shalom chevrah,
As I continue my journey, I have been becoming quite flustered. True we can always point to the "end of choref zman burn out" or "it's a leap year so yeshivas extra challenging" but as I make my preparations for Purim, I am truly lacking simcha. After making some significant strides in my first 90 days I have found myself falling back into the lust-bug that's been wearing me down. With little time left to yeshiva (I'll be going back for summer zman as well) I feel like my learning, davening and emunah have all taken significant hits and I'm really just bugging out because I have always felt that once you get to yeshiva and do your time "the problem" (speaking specifically now about being MZ and P***) would "go away". I obviously came to the realization a while ago that that's ridiculous and battle is ongoing. But what's freaking me out is that now im going back to America soon and if I hadn't be able to tackle it here, where I have less "opportunities" to slip, then wow am I in for it when I get back home. 

To to actually detail one of the issues, and not just continue with my rant about my feelings, I find that no matter how much I worry about myself, and filter out my devices and what not, there's ALWAYS something around that's unfiltered and out of my control. And when I get those "opportunities" I find myself almost running to them. Usually it's my roommate (who I'm not so closed to and would be mortified to bring up my issue and tell him what's going). Please help me because I have no clue what to do at this point

Hi Joe,
I can really relate to what you wrote as I too felt that my learning, davening, etc. got worse & I'm also returning to America soon...

What I have come to learn being here is that being in Yeshiva & learning didn't help me the slightest & it didn't just "go away",  being that since i have a real problem no filter in the world could stop me and mussar didn't help me either because these things are just blocks & until I realized that I have a real BIG problem and i gotta take care of it properly & the right way, nothing will help me because i'm not in control of myself when it comes to these things.

Once I realized the problem B''H I'm on the long windy road of recovery...

Do you have any Rabbeim to speak with about this?
Hatzlacha!

Can relate. My bein hazmanim's were 3-4 week binges on porn, TV, videos games and junk food. Thank G-d holidays are not like that anymore.

Watson wrote on 20 Mar 2016 12:23:

that could have been my zman as well.

Yes, we need help; start with the handbook perhaps.

Joe,
You came to the right place to find salvation from this disease. Listen with an open mind and be prepared to do whatever it takes and your life will become very sweet indeed.
The steps I originally forced myself to take as sacrifices to save me from this problem are now themselves the source of my happiness.
Welcome!!

Joerandom wrote on 20 Mar 2016 09:44:

How's the US of A been treatin' you?