Hello, I am looking for someone who can advise me regarding which method to use to quit cold turkey.  
I am currently married with kids, and I have been struggling with this addiction since I was in mesivta. As far as my wife is concerned, I broke free of this addiction long ago. Being open with her will make things difficult between us, and there are enough shalom bayis issues to being with. My longest clean streak was great - it lasted 2 AND A HALF YEARS! But once I fell from that one, I haven't kept clean for more than a few months at a shot. I do realize that keeping clean for a few months is a pretty big accomplishment, however each time I break a streak I feel like such a failure, since I compare it to my 2.5 year streak...

I also feel like the thoughts that pour into my head are too strong for me to fight sometimes. It's not just when I see something inappropriate that I think bad thoughts, simply shopping in Lakewood (where I live) and looking around can set my mind racing to terrible places. I am ashamed to admit this and this is actually the first time I am letting this out - but I am even attracted to girls as young as 10,11 and that makes it extra difficult for me. Simply being in the same room as my young sister in law is a challenge. 

Filters to keep me off porn have never been a good option for me, as I am a tech savvy guy and will find loopholes everywhere. Besides, even if I were to find a viable option for my phone, there are still numerous other ways for me to access anything. I also work full time and do not have so much time to be on this site without my wife asking me what I am doing...and It's not like I can be on the site in the bathroom as it contains lots of Dvarim Kedoishim..

Help -  anyone?
 

Welcome!

No don't tell your wife - yet

Do tell someone else, if you're upto it

Check the success stories in "Free Towing" of great guys here (in my signature), and reach out to one, if you're ready for that - you'll enjoy it

For today - to roast your turkey, before you stick it in the freezer, try to join cordnoy's 1:20 call - you can mute and listen anonymously - it's fun

Hatzlacha!!

Welcome,

there is help out there.
many people are similar.

Can I point out (nicely) several shtusim in your first post (and I apologize for not waitin' for your third or fourth)?

Yes, you are tech savvy, but you also are tech savvy enough to install monitors that can track where you go, and you can make it difficult to avoid those? Will you be able to? Yes; but, it might take some time, and you don't have much of that.

You can't take GYE into the bathroom because there's davar shebikdusha on it!? What [bad words removed] is that? Pornography is mutar in the bathroom? at work?

Sorry for the rude welcome; I have been lustin' for several decades, so i know the drill and the excuses, but there is help here. Will it happen overnight? probably not.

b'hatzlachah

Oh, and one more thin'.....there is  no 11-letter limit on a username; you forgot a letter at the end of yours.

Welcome. We have many similarities. Many of us have been having issues since our younger years as well. Some of us are even attracted to our sisters in law. 
What tools did you use to get through the 2 and half year period?

Hello, I appreciate your reply

What you are saying about the bathoroom makes sense, I was half expecting a reaction like that. I guess it IS better to even read divrei Tora in the BR than look at porn
And I can probably find ways around the monitors too. But these aren't real solutions. Let's say I get to installing 100% fool proof methods on all my pieces of technology. What happens when I'm by a different PC or phone? You can walk out of any pharmacy today with a chiep smartphone from the prepaid counters for $30 and then what good are your filters and monitors??....And I'm sure that point has been made before. 

I feel like I need a therapist, but I don't have the time! and What will I say to my wife about what I'm doing?
 

keepontrying was taken

It was mostly willpower. The date was nice - Jan 1st 2010, and I said thats it. And I was sort of in a "flip out" process in yeshiva...  

cordnoy wrote on Unknown:


I Second that. If you don't want to read the Torah part, don't. But it's not Davar Shebekedusha. I don't think that is what any of us would call our cellphones.

There was one guy who had a thread called "The Bathroom is my Beis Medrash" or something like that. He explained that the bathroom was where he used GYE and that's how he got clean.

I'm also pretty sure, and I can't explain bc I'm not in a place where one can share Torah, that one is allowed Torah even in the bathroom to protect or separate from sin. Will try to provide a source later.

So welcome and join us on your phone in the bathroom, in the parking lot, wherever you are!

keepontryin wrote on Unknown:

And during that time, did you feel good about yourself, confident about life, etc, or did it feel like lust was always right around the corner?

I felt GREAT about myself. The whole time. Highly confident. I felt like I was cured for life and nothing can ever bring me back down there. But now it is the complete oposite.. 

keepontryin wrote on Unknown:

this is an official protest.
Any mods on?

Workingguy wrote on Unknown:


Mishna Berura 85:13. Although it seems that this is a last resort, It's preferable to think about other "neutral" things, see 85:6.

So maybe stick with the JHF section

Gevura - Great job on the 966 days! I was there once too (not to discourage you C"V)..
Thanks for the mikor

Cord there's a nafka mina between n' and n