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Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience

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TOPIC: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 23038 Views

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 06:19 #283769

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8279 Karma: 427	Please elaborate! btw the opposite is true as well, another common mistake
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Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 06:24 #283770

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	Talking to me?
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Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 06:27 #283771

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	markz wrote on 06 Apr 2016 04:29: Bad mistake Joseph ROTFL i cant stop laughing Help I take back the thank you. That wasn't very nice.
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 06:28 #283772

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8279 Karma: 427	Yes Warning: Spoiler! although - I thought you were gonna call me tonight to talk
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Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 14:56 #283792

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	Ok, when I have time.
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Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 06 Apr 2016 18:05 #283812

shlomo24
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Shlomo24 wrote on 06 Apr 2016 06:15:

Recovery mistake for me: I'm not unique... Just another drunk.
Also, I don't know the answers.
Also, as an addict, therapy won't keep me sober.
Also, i need to bring the lust to the light.
Also, I can't keep myself sober.
Also, sobriety comes first.

I'm another drunk: When I talk with others I have to remember I'm not better then them. I'm just another drunk.

I don't know the answers: The best advice for me is to ask my sponsor or others. My own brain came up with some really silly answers in the past, and even now also.

Therapy: Never kept me sober, I need a plan of action, not just introspection.

Lust to the light: I can't let the lust sit inside me, I need to bring it out. It eats me alive when I fight it on the inside or just let it be. That feeling leads to me acting out.

Can't keep myself sober: My track record shows I am batting .000 when I try to keep myself sober.

Sobriety comes first: I have to realize that my functioning as a human comes before anything, and I can't function without being sober. I was also told that anything I put before sobriety I will lose to sobriety. I have found that to be true.

If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can.

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Last Edit: 08 Apr 2016 01:38 by shlomo24.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 07 Apr 2016 17:19 #283913

cordnoy
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I think good therapy can work for some.
It did and does for me.

My experience is that it is much more than introspection, something you have said and alluded to many times.

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Last Edit: 08 Apr 2016 01:54 by cordnoy.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 17 Apr 2016 04:23 #284786

Markz
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#13. The lies we tell ourselves

realsimcha wrote on 25 Mar 2016 15:00:

The "BIG LIE" was always the lie that I told myself. (1) I dont really have a problem. (2) I had a problem, but its gone. (3) I have a problem but so does everybody else. (4) In the grand scheme of things I do so many other good things so I can call my life functional. And the list goes on. I have found in my limited experience, that the first step for me was to stop lying to myself and realize: (1) I have a problem. Its not going away. There are no cheshbonos, torah, vorts, or excuses that can change that. (2) The day that I forge that, or even minimize it, is the first day of a ticking time bomb leading to an explosion over which I will have little control if any at all. I hope hashem will continue to be with me, and I know that I have much less time and experience than many of you. But I hope that if I continue - for the very first time in my life - to recognize my vulnerability - EVERY SINGLE DAY - 7 DAYS A WEEK - in a addition to other tools that I have found to be helpful - that I will be posting boring posts until .....

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Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 02 Aug 2016 11:39 #293117

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8279 Karma: 427	From Today's chizuk email ;-)
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Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 02 Aug 2016 18:27 #293162

eslaasos Current streak: 16 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 954 Karma: 81	Shlomo24 wrote on 06 Apr 2016 06:15: I don't know the answers: The best advice for me is to ask my sponsor or others. My own brain came up with some really silly answers in the past, and even now also. I don't get this one. Assuming your sponsor is in the same addiction boat as you, why would you trust his thinking?
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Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 02 Aug 2016 18:40 #293165

ben durdayah
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eslaasos wrote on 02 Aug 2016 18:27:

Shlomo24 wrote on 06 Apr 2016 06:15:

I don't know the answers: The best advice for me is to ask my sponsor or others. My own brain came up with some really silly answers in the past, and even now also.

I don't get this one. Assuming your sponsor is in the same addiction boat as you, why would you trust his thinking?

Ooooh! I love this one!

(I feel like a kid again, in the classroom, when the teacher asks a question and you're jumping off the end of your seat with your hand in the air and making all sorts of funny noises that mean, "Please, please, please call on me!)

And the answer is:

His greatest qualification is that he is not me!

As addicts, our minds have been our own worst enemies for years. We are often unaware of our own motivations. In Yiddishkeit they call it "negios."

Whether its our addiction speaking or something else, we may not know.

The opinion of a sponsor -who I assume has longer, better sobriety than the sponsee- is so valuable because he is not me. He can see through the BS. Is he infallible? No. Does he have a higher IQ than me? Is he more learned or knowledgeable? Sometimes, but not necessarily.

The best thing about him is that he is not me.

For Dov and the other two guys who care,
My real name really is Eli
Like the original Bendy, Ein hadavar talui ela bee

Last Edit: 03 Aug 2016 13:04 by ben durdayah.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 03 Aug 2016 00:23 #293192

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	Also, as an addict he knows how I think. If he's a sober addict then obviously he has a plan that works. Combine those two and its the perfect option for me. Someone who knows me and who knows how to get sober. (Also I'm mighty proud of myself, that was a good post from way back).
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com Last Edit: 03 Aug 2016 00:27 by shlomo24.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 04 Aug 2016 18:42 #293358

Workingguy
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Here's a recovery mistake to avoid- falling! (Didn't see that one coming, did you?) even if you periodically fall after long periods of sobriety, it is easy to think as you're sliding down the rabbit hole- ok I'm falling but I've gotten back up many times and I will this time too.

Paradoxically for me, the more sobriety I have, the more each fall takes a greater toll- not necessarily because I fall harder or worse, bc I don't, but because the emotional pain and sense of long term hopelessness is much worse.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 04 Aug 2016 18:43 #293359

Workingguy OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1150 Karma: 139	Another recovery mistake to avoid- if you start a thread with advice on how to avoid mistakes, read it before you fall again. Had I had this thread in front of me more, it would have addressed some key issues on my last fall.

Re: Recovery mistakes to avoid- your experience 13 Sep 2016 02:14 #295036

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8279 Karma: 427	Here's another one: NOBODY GONNA TELL ME WHAT TO DO I'm decided how to soberize my own way I NO NEED NO ONE TO HELP TOW MY TRUCK LEAVE ME ALONE
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