I'm on my 5th day clean B"H, last night I had a felt the a lust urge it was as if it was a lust attack. I prayed to Hashem to help me out, B"H I was able to stay clean. This site has opened a door for me to be able to recover from my struggles. I hope I will be able to learn how live life without being blinded by lust.

Caim wrote:

This is a phenomenon that occurs very often on GYE. People feel very comfortable here so they ask all their questions to the forum. Maybe this is a question for your rav? I also had tefillah issues and I developed a strong kesher with my rav, we learn a sefer on tefillah and we talk when things come up.

Thank You Shlomo24, I appreciate your time to post this idea for me.
As an update, I was clean for already a week. for some reason I am feeling down I do not know why. However I hope to continue further on my journey for recovery. I feel that this might be a withdrawal feeling that I am going through I hope to be able to swim the currents; and of course, not by fight them just to be able to surf and stay above them and not drown. I will Daven to Hashem to help me stay on top, and beg him to take away the lust from me.

If this is the first time you felt down since Jan 2010 then you're probably right, if not it may be something else

Hope you do feel up soon - until then join me in my depressed people's igloo (freeeeeeeeeezing chill spot)
No - Eskimos never get depressed - or do they?

Time for a survey!

Polarbear?????

markz wrote:


Oh my how did I forget about your posts! Yeah your posts are the greatest hits! They always can make someone laugh, and lighten up a situation. I really appreciate it.

By the way I think I once say a thread that was started by you regarding how to de-objectify women, and I am looking for it and cannot find can you please give me the link to it if you have it.

It's in my Free Towing page here - of course

markz wrote:


Howbout wives who dress like Eskimos?

Ups and downs are part of life. I have them all the time and many times I can't pinpoint what it is that is bothering me or making me ecstatic. But regardless I need to accept and move on with life. It's ok to feel down. I personally have been going through a bit of a downer, I actually think it's because I get anxious when I am nearing a sobriety milestone, I seem to get "down" whenever I am near one. Maybe that applies to you also.

Today I am already B"H 9 days clean, I am going on my journey to recovery. Friday night I was having a hard time, since it was already seven days clean, and I still didn't have any relations with my wife for seven weeks already. I felt some sense of frustration building up in myself, since I was wondering why she didn't go to the mikvah when she could've four weeks ago. I was also wondering why she didn't want the relations so much as I wanted it. However I was thinking to myself that I would be okay without it and will wait it out for another week and see if she would decide to go to the Mikvah. Meanwhile the frustration died down and Boruch Hashem I am still clean and hope to be able to stay clean, one day at a time.

The going can be tough sometimes :-(

Stay strong!! ;-)

Caim wrote:

You are strong, Caim. If I went 7 weeks without relations I would probably end up rationalizing why is was okay for me to masturbate...
Your attitude about this sounds very healthy. You will be okay without it. And the truth is that whenever I engaged in intimate relations only because "I needed it" it was never really satisfying. The real question is why your wife doesn't want it. It's still a work in progress but I've come to realize that I need to improve my overall relationship with my wife before I can expect intimacy to improve. And by teaching yourself that you don't "need" it you will ensure that you have the right focus. In other words, that your drive to improve your relationship with your wife is not a means to an end...
I hope this makes some sense. Chazak Ve'ematz!

Thank you BenTorah.BaalHabayis, for your encouraging words. I too really need to work on my attitudes towards my wife to be able to be nice to her without having in mind of getting anything in return such as affection, or relations. I realize that there may be many things I do in the house for my wife which may not be done pure out of love for her. I can see many times that if my wife asks me something to do which may be a little hard on my part I can be lazy to do it for her. Thereafter, I wonder where has my love for her go at that moment and I realize that I need to work on my love to be true love and for the need of relations or affection.

As an update on my streak I had a hard night last night and had a fall, in the middle of the night. It was like I wondered why I couldn't withstand the desire and not need it. But at the moment I find it very hard to fend off the fight, it was like everything happened in a matter of seconds. Then I am left with the disappointment and resentment.

However I will start from fresh again and look forward to put more clean days in my account of clean days. I see every clean day as an asset which will be as a clean day that will always be with me.

Caim wrote:

Very true. No clean day goes to waste. And while I'm sure it was frustrating and discouraging to fall again, it's great that you're not throwing in the towel and giving up. You can do it!

Today I am on my 2 day on the new clean streak, and am B"H doing fine. I have had a few lust attacks in the streets today when I was passing by other women in the street. However I did not dwell on the thoughts they just passed.

Wow, 7 pages.
Sorry I'm late.
got some reading to do.