BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:
Yes, being upset with wife, or wife upset with me is a big trigger. Yes, we need to work on SB, but also how to deal with the tension when it occurs - because it will occur. Oh, and stay off Yahoo

Today B"H was very good I was able to push away a temptation with the thought that I was okay before I had the temptation and would be okay without feeding in to the temptation, and I said a little prayer for Hashem to help me pass this urge the best way.
I also work in a place where there are other female workers. I always feel uncomfortable next to them, since whenever I talk to them impure thoughts about them pop in to my head. It bothers me why whenever I talk to women do I need to think about these thoughts. It is as if my brain is wired to think this way. If anyone has any idea for me please post them.

I didn't get the reference. Care to enlighten me?

Since you mentioned Yahoo it's reminding me of a time when Yahoo was my browser home page and I was therefore unintentionally coming across a lot of "mild shmutz" (if there's such a thing). Then one day I heard a shmuz about increasing kedusha in my home and "v'lo yireh b'cho ervas dovor etc" and I resolved to change my homepage. That was a good move, but that was before I was really sunk in the heavy duty shmutz. But I still think it's a good thing Yahoo is no longer my home page!

Caim wrote:

I think you answered your question
It is as if my brain is wired to think this way

Mine was too, and as mentioned in my story, the 90 day chart rewired my brain, so focus on your other aspects of recovery for today, keep at it, and you will be pleasanty surprised, like I was

I had the same problems at my work. But recently it came to a point where when meeting a woman at work, and yes she's good looking, my brain isn't pounding me with lustful thoughts .
She's a human being, good looking, with talent, so what?

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:
Stay away from Yahoo

gibbor120 wrote:

Forgot my own words...

markz wrote:

Thank you very much for your time clarify things for me. I hope things will clear up for me the longer I am on a clean streak. B"H I am now seven days clean and I am still praying to Hashem to help me out further to stay clean, and help take away my lust for me.

I was seven days clean already, but, unfortunately had a fall. I started the 90 day chart again. I also started to read the White Book. I will see how it goes I hope that this time around my determination will get me even further. However I am stil amazed that I made it seven days clean in one streak, and in the amount of 30 cumulative clean days already.

[quote="Caim" post=273849]I was seven days clean already, but, unfortunately had a fall. I started the 90 day chart again. I also started to read the White Book. I will see how it goes I hope that this time around my determination will get me even further. However I am stil amazed that I made it seven days clean in one streak, and in the amount of 30 cumulative clean days already.[/quote

Caim,
Glad to hear that you got back up. Do you have a specific plan of action? There are some really experiences guys on the boards (cordnoy and Markz come to mind; I'm relatively new here) that can share their experiences and the different things that they've done to either fight, or as they would probably say avoid the fight and succeed in this nisayon.

Read their threads (they have fascinating threads) and you can learn from their journey. Hatzlacha to you!

Thank you for your chizuk and advice. I also realized that I have an issue with consistency and find it very hard for me to stick to a schedule. Therefore it is very hard for me to stick to a clear plan of action. My issues may be a byproduct of my lack of consistency and sticking to a plan. I also realized that most of times when I fall, is during the night when I wake up, in the middle of the night, or in the morning when I wake up before I go out of bed. Therefore I am trying to stick to a wake up, and go to sleep time, and stick to the time.

Last night I had a difficult start off since I was lusting after having sex with my wife, however I couldn't because she is Assur. Usually I would've fallen after lusting after something and not being able to get what I wanted, however, this time I was able to catch myself and not fall. It was as if wave of lust came over me and B"H passed safely. I hope to be able to continue on the path to recovery the right way, and I Daven to Hashem to lead towards the correct path.

Great job!

Amazing!
I've learned along my journey so far that if I can stop myself from lusting even after my own wife then it will help with lusting in general and will very likely end up improving one's intimate relationship with their wife.
Either way, Hatzlacha and keep up the good work!

I am working on my attitudes and beliefs trying to work the tip of recovery. However my Davening also needs allot of work. Since when I Daven I feel very disconnected. I try to think about the fact that Davening is talking to Hashem and I should just think in to the words that I am saying and not pay to attention to the negative thoughts of how weak my I am. If anyone has any idea for me please let me know.

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote:


Thank you for the good encouraging words. I would also need to eventually work out my intimate relationship with my wife, since I have allot of lust, and fantasies during intimate relations with my wife.