Hi,
Sadly to say when was I was young Bucher there were Buchrim in my Yisheva who had xxx rated videos.
One of them even lend me his laptop with some Cd's and believe me I became sick.
From then on even though I tried to learn I was craving to see more and more garbage.

You can imagine that it was a secret and I didn't dare speaking with anybody about it. I was lost I didn't want it, wasn't looking for it, and couldn't look on it.
And then one day I couldn't live without it.
Whats going on with me?

Even though for a long time I don't look at porn (99% - every body has some small falls) I still have the urge, It sometimes makes me crazy nervous angry ..... And I could ask myself should I go look just to calm myself? but the answer is always NO it wont calm me anyway.

So what are the solutions?

Thank you for your help.

My friend

It sounded like you have porn under control. No? What means 99% - you only fall once a month?

What have you tried, that hasn't worked for you?

Does posting on the forum help

Hi Markz and thank you,
my Urge isn't yet in control, I work alot on the computer and it's a daily fight.
How can I just focus on my work without being disturbed.

I think that there is no simple answer to your question.

Shlomo24
It might not be simple but is there any advice that can help me?

I'll try to make my question more clearly.
If you once looked on porn will you want to look on porn forever?
I know very well why I shouldn't dare looking on porn!
You don't even enjoy it, and you regret it a second later. It ruins every thing in life- work-happiness-marriage-and what not.

So what I'm dealing now is to get rid of the urge or will to see just a bit or just for 10 sec'
I'm also looking for advice to teach myself not to want it at all.

doingtshuva wrote:


I don't think that the urge will go away completely. I don't think that should be the focus anyhow. I think we all know that looking at porn is "bad" but the desire can overcome logic many times. I don't know if trying to "not want it at all" will help. I mean, the stuff they show is pretty exciting and thrilling.

1) doingtshuva wrote:

I have a feeing there are some people that that never looked at porn, but may also want to look forever

2) doingtshuva wrote:

Go on - please explain

3) doingtshuva wrote:

I do

4) doingtshuva wrote:

I don't

5) doingtshuva wrote:

Not mine (at least not apparently)

"If you once looked on porn will you want to look on porn forever?"

If the question is "want", i don't think you have to look even once to want to look forever. Its just before you look once it is easier to say no.

As for becoming addicted I've heard Rabbi Twersky say that you can become an addict from looking "once". It doesn't necessarily mean that it will happen but it definitely could happen if you are prone to addictions.

"So what I'm dealing now is to get rid of the urge or will to see just a bit or just for 10 sec'
I'm also looking for advice to teach myself not to want it at all".

This is exactly what the 12 steps are here for. It is not something we can "teach" ourselves, if we start living life differently we won't have the "need" to fill ourselves with the artificial high that we are craving for.

Thanks mggsbms,
Do you have experience with the 12 steps? I don't.
Can you please share.

markz wrote:


Don't learn me "בעיון"
If porn is enjoyable for you , you don't regret after using it, and it doesn't yet ruin your life. So why are you in recovery? Enjoy, but it might be that the porn mixed you up? makes sense?

doingtshuva wrote:


welcome to GYE. a lot of people come here with some variety of this story, and almost all of them are in panic thinking they are the first ones or only ones with this experience.



solutions? well, how long are you able to stay clean for? check out this page (link also available in my signature) for some guidelines and suggestions based on this.

also, consider this: what have you tried in the past? looking at pornography when it is not enjoyable, and not being able to stop, sounds like textbook addiction. have you considered that it may not just be a yetzer hara, but a deeply ingrained need for ... something you are missing. if so, refer to the page above, and work your way through.

for starters, let me suggest two things from my own experience:
1. download the GYE handbook, and read it at least twice (see link in my signature).
2. get used to the idea that one day you will have to share your problem with someone you trust. someone real, not someone represented by words and pictures on a screen. you may not be ready today, but if you want to really recover, it is necessary. see quote in my signature about sobriety before ego.

[quote="Shlomo24" post=269160]doingtshuva wrote:


no one can answer this - it is all guess work. how much the desire for lust-related material is minimized or is under-control depends on many factors, including the level of your addiction, and the quality of your recovery.

i agree with the above posters that this should not be where the focus is now.

Hi peloni almoni,
Working on my sobriety started 2 years ago when I came alone to an understanding that I have a problem or a yetzer Hara. Thanks to Hashem that my struggle was only with reading or searching the @ which is bad enough. I never made or had contact with same or with other genders. Even not online contact.

That's the נסיון of the @ no one knows or sees you, (besides Google NSA and Hashem) you can be a magid shiur and surf with a Gartel in the Beis Medresh in front of a Gimure while shaking your Paies mit a Nigun. And we tell ourselves that it's only a small tiny עבירה of looking on Goishe women who we don't even know, and it doesn't even make me being מהרר?????
We just Bluff ourselves with התירים

Back then I searched on Google "How to break free from porn" which is how I found GYE, but I was still scared to become a member. Only after I had Emailed R' twersky and he is the one that gave me the push, so Burich Hashem for the past 2 years I'm totally a different person. Back then I couldn't even focus on my small job. Writing an Email took me 2 hours- you get me why?????????????????
Today I manage to focus on double and even more.

Again I didn't ask advice how to stop and I also can't share everything I did in the past 2 years. what yes I read a lot but I mean alot, I printed out almost all the books in the Ebook section, I listened to alot Shiurem on the issue and the most I never gave up. and believe me it wasn't easy. I didn't always see Hahem helping me, but that's part of breaking free, if it was easy to break free, then who would be an addict?

wish you all the best