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Why can't I stop looking at p__n
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Why can't I stop looking at p__n 886 Views

Why can't I stop looking at p__n 05 Nov 2015 01:15 #267835

  • butterfly
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Hi everyone, Why can't I stop looking at p__n. I tried sooooooooooooooooooo many times and just keep on falling again and again. B"H I'm able to keep it at looking and not taking any further steps but I still can't stand it. It's sooooooooo hard to deal with woman all day in my business and not get effected from it and sooooooooo hard not to come home after a long hard day at work and not just hop on my computer and "relax"... Then I do it and beat myself up over it and then can't daven or learn cuz I feel too guilty. Please help with some ideas. I tried so many and I still can't get it.
I tried a few filters and manage to get around them. Does any body know about yishmoreini? Is it a good filter. I have nativ now But can still get to bad parts within a site so I'm thinking that if I get Yishmoeini I won't go to those parts.

Please I'm falling apart and really need everyone's chizuk!!!

Re: Why can't I stop looking at p__n 05 Nov 2015 01:34 #267838

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butterfly wrote:
Hi everyone, Why can't I stop looking at p__n. I tried sooooooooooooooooooo many times and just keep on falling again and again. B"H I'm able to keep it at looking and not taking any further steps but I still can't stand it. It's sooooooooo hard to deal with woman all day in my business and not get effected from it and sooooooooo hard not to come home after a long hard day at work and not just hop on my computer and "relax"... Then I do it and beat myself up over it and then can't daven or learn cuz I feel too guilty. Please help with some ideas. I tried so many and I still can't get it.
I tried a few filters and manage to get around them. Does any body know about yishmoreini? Is it a good filter. I have nativ now But can still get to bad parts within a site so I'm thinking that if I get Yishmoeini I won't go to those parts.

Please I'm falling apart and really need everyone's chizuk!!!

My friend with butterflies in the stomach. Forget about different filters.
And also - you don't need anyone's Chizuk. You're a strong guy with plenty Chizuk in your stomach. You go out every day to make parnassa for your family. That's GREAT.
I believe you have all the Chizuk you need. The only thing missing is a GPS. Please check my signature

All the best my friend!!
Safe flying in the flowers
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Re: Why can't I stop looking at p__n 05 Nov 2015 03:48 #267847

  • shlomo24
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when it comes down to it a filter is only as good as the person it's filtering. if we hold on to lust then we will find a way.
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

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Re: Why can't I stop looking at p__n 05 Nov 2015 05:16 #267854

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Welcome and thanks for sharing with us! I don't think anyone here can tell you why you can't stop watching porn. It would be quite an amazing skill to be able to do that over a computer. Maybe some people can share their own experience and you can see if it relates to you. Personally I gave up on finding out why I acted the way I did and sought any help I could find. I looked at what other people did to stop and followed their lead. I haven't watched porn in over a year B"H. On October 18, 2014 I was completely unable to stop and on October 19, 2014, I stopped. I guess I was lost, humbled and desperate that Hashem stepped in and did for me what I couldn't do for myself.

Hatzlacha!
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--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
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Re: Why can't I stop looking at p__n 05 Nov 2015 08:38 #267863

  • colincolin
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I am new here.

But to me, it sounds as if the core of the issue is feeling stressed, tired and down after work.

I don't know if it is possible, but could you try and do something, that when you get home from work you set up a routine, which is positive and helps restore your spirit from the bumps and bruises of the workday?

Simple things, such as first go to the bathroom and wash your face and hands.
Just to feel more relaxed.
Then have a little something to eat, even if it is a cup of tea or a piece of fruit, certainly something healthy.

Then no matter what, set aside 10 minutes to read a favourite book.
Nothing heavy, something light, that will make you laugh, and put some positive energy into your day.

Just this little routine to feel "Human" again after the insults and tribulations of the work day.
Last Edit: 05 Nov 2015 08:39 by colincolin.

Re: Why can't I stop looking at p__n 05 Nov 2015 21:01 #267925

  • gibbor120
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Welcome! It sounds like you may need more than a good filter (although a filter is important).

Start with the handbook. Keep posting. There's lots to learn here.

Re: Why can't I stop looking at p__n 05 Nov 2015 21:23 #267927

  • waydown
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Welcome,

First question is it just porn? Do you masterbate often as well? Do you find youself conatsntly staring at any decent looking female that crosses your path?

If you answered yes to the above questions the answer to your question in the subject line maybe, that you have greater underlying problem. You may not have a pron problem. Rather you may have a lust problem. You see the underlying driver of many porn viewers is not porn per say rather its because they are obssesed with ladies. Those of us who have this probelm try to work on lust. Once we don't lust, the porn goes away.
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