Reb Giant Leap:
One of my worst fears is that someone will find out!!!
Wow, how lucky you are that you are a Baal Teshuvah, although FFB I am still far from being a Baal Teshuvah. Actually that is not true, everyone on this forum has reached the lofty level of Baal Teshuvah. Many Giants of the last generation have already said that to be a Baal Teshuvah one merely has to say “Ribono Shel Olam I want to be good”. No longer are the steps of admittance, regret, est. needed. I once heard in the name of Rav Nosson Wachtfogel the famed Lakewood mashgiach who after affirming that such was the case was asked “but Rebbe what about the Shelah Hakodesh who insists that the other steps are necessary”. To which the Mashgiach replied “I just gave you away of crawling out of the mud you want to crawl back in??”. No longer do we have the strength of the previous generations, just tell Hashem with sincerity that you want to be good and He will do the rest. The Medrash relates that Hashem asks of us “open for me a needle hole and I will open it to the size of a banquet hall”. There is a famous question why a needle hole why not another hole for instance when one stick his finger in the sand? The answer given is that a needle goes trough and through it’s with a sincerity.
B”H I am happy to report that I am falling asleep much easer with each passing night and waking up with an even greater simchas hachaim that the day before. Like I said in my original posting each step is battle not just a fight. I wish you (and everyone on the forum) the strength to win. The gemora says that the bigger a person the bigger his Y/H. Being that we have fallen for our addiction just think how big and lofty our nishamos must be. The Ribono Shel Olam is not only proud of this website it was worth the thousand of years in gulos just to reap the benefits of the giants it will produce.
Reb Guard:
Yes true YouTube can be blocked, but the Y/H is always a few steps ahead. I can’t even count the number of times K9 blocked a page and then after a few seconds it loaded with the shmutz fully visible and the K9 symbol on the side or bottom of the page. It is as if the Y/H is saying you’re not going to stop me with a simple little program.
Only knowing his strengths and tricks will help us stay ahead of him!!!!!
Once again thanks for the encouraging words of chizuk.