Watson wrote:


There needs to be that commitment that lust is not needed or wanted and it is not an option. Our actions and mindset is to work one moment at a time.

markz wrote:


Can you please explain yourself, is there realy something bad with my signeture? Do I realy look like someone on a xrated pornsite. Does it trigger you

I'm going to talk tachlis!!!
How would you convince people who are going through hard times to stay sober?
Lets take the older Bucher, all his married friends are having sex with their wifes and HE feels punished.
Someone having Shulem Bais problams and didn't have sex for a year feels punished and runs to porn.......+.........+.
The list doesn't end, but lets hear salutions and reasons why its better for him to stop.

Maybe I should change the name of the topic to
Why don't you have an exuse to act out?
sounds better?

What would happen to a person who doesn't have sex? Can such a person even survive?

doingtshuva wrote:


"HE feels punished.
Someone having Shulem Bais problams and didn't have sex for a year feels punished"

It's great that you're sympathizing with these FEEL punished guys, but their job is to deal with those FEELINGS...

doingtshuva wrote:



I think your signature is the same as your post topic
Too vague . Not that your signature is unique to a porn site, but פוסח על שני הסעיפים

Would you walk into shul with your signature on the top of your Tallis bag?
Ahem yaamod... What's your name? Or worse the gabai may ask for your mothers name for misheberach, but you're not sick.

When someone sees a reply of yours, they can get confused by your signature to say the least.

I think, like your face is a רה״ר, so too a signature is mostly seen by everyone else, not the writer!!
And the main purpose of the signature is not to describe our emotions/challenges but rather to offer the reader either a positive tip or cup of tea or recovery tool. Checkout most if not all other signatures. Id be quite sure you didn't understand the signature serves that purpose
Why do i say you're too vague?

vague signature

Being curious makes me lust !!!
The more I feed it, the more I'll need it!!!

You dont say clearly
AND THEREFORE WHAT?

On a pornsite - therefore keep feeding the curiosity
On this site, IF someone is clever theyll translate that therefore youll quiet the curiosity

vague question
Could one have an excuse for acting out?

You dont say clearly
THEREFORE WHAT??

Therefore you want it? No. As you said later

You just want to theorise for no practical purpose? In a house of drunkards like us?

Why are you asking the question? For what benefit?

Now I must beg forgiveness from you my teshuva friend, cos your intent im sure is pure, and I may have sounded too harsh in the previous post, and shouldve explained myself . All the best my brother!!

doingtshuva wrote:


I lived that one, most of my friends were married a few years before me. I'm now very grateful to Hashem for my wife, my family and everything in my life. It was depressing at the time though, and I acted out through-out, not realising that acting out was making my problems worse and worse and worse. Today I am convinced that if I was not a sexaholic I wouldn't have been so depressed about still being single. But I was a sexaholic even though I didn't know that. Acting out fed the horrible lust-filled cycle. I have since learnt that I have never had a problem that acting out couldn't make worse.

How would I convince people to stay sober? I wouldn't. In my experience only pain convinced me to want to stay sober. Once I was in enough pain I asked for help.

One's tafkid in life in not dependant on others. While it may feel really bad to be the older single who's friends are all "having sex with their wives" (that's an addict statement, as if that's all married ppl do) it is not an excuse to act out, very krum sfara. If god wanted "x" to be having sex he would, just b/c his friends are doesn't mean he now has to. what would be the geder? if 75% of friends are married then yes, but if less than then it's not allowed... sounds ridiculous to try to even come up with one. it's a similar thing to a guy who has SSA, all his (married) friends are having sex with the objects of their attraction, so he should also be able to?! (i actually once heard this from some1 who claims to be an orthodox rabbi). i am surely not a posek, this is just my understanding.

in actuality i don't think this whole thread should be here and one should discuss it with his LOR instead of here.

markz wrote:


Sulachti Kidvurecha

The first thing I did when I found out that it is an issur I went straight to shilchun aruch to see if there is some sort of heter, and as markz said thinking that there is a heter might make one loosen the grip on the fight, I found a heter that was so far fetched that it is ridiculous to even mention it.

And as far as doingtshuva, you had a concern and you asked about on the forum, good for you.

And Markz, does your GPS update automatically or do I have to plug it in to a computer do update it through the internet?

doingtshuva wrote on 21 Oct 2015 21:48:

Like Shlomo wrote, our lives can not be run based on others. It will lead us to a life of misery and pain.  My friends have nice cars, can I steal one?  

stillgoing wrote on 10 May 2018 22:38:

BLAST FROM THE PAST

It was good to see that I agree with my previous self in some areas. A lot of what I wrote I no longer agree with, but this one sits well with me. (Even though I haven't written in such a style in a long time).