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Just help me get by tonight!

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: Just help me get by tonight! 4057 Views

Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 02:34 #265529

`Chaim Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 62 Karma: 2	Hi.. no time for introductions... I got a text from a woman I got to know, and even though I deleted it, it still triggered something within me... Also, I have a knack for getting by restrictions and I stumbled upon a new way for doing so. I'm very frazzled right now and I don't want to do anything Please help!!!
	Shmiras HaChaim: Every day is a chance to change your life Last Edit: 11 Oct 2015 08:22 by cordnoy.

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 02:51 #265532

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8282 Karma: 427	It's great that you're reaching out!!! I can't say I'm a pro, but here are my 2 cents 1- don't reply at all. If you did have to, I hope it was to send them an anonymous invite to guardyoureyes.com 2- can you share what tools you have begun workin on? Perhaps those can help now 3- go to the "just having fun" forum, and see if you find anything interesting there
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story Last Edit: 11 Oct 2015 02:55 by Markz.

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 02:51 #265533

serenity
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"ONE DAY AT A TIME"
Posts: 1796
Karma: 173

Dov's Desperados is starting a new call cycle tomorrow. Perhaps it would help you yo reach out to him and see if the call is for you. You can email Dov at wequithiding@gmail.com

Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 02:58 #265535

shmulyz19 OFFLINE Banned I am lucky to be alive each day. Thank you HaShem Posts: 160 Karma: -1	Hi Chaim, believe me trying your best is hard, if you feel like meeting this woman, think of how many other men have sinned with her. I hope this picture helps. Shmulyz18. P.S maybe we can communicate with each other. Attachments: unnamed15.png (147KB)
	I am not a therapist offering advice. I am merely a concerned poster and Friend.. You can do it. KOT. Please chat me anytime. I'm all ears. Thank You Thank you... Shmuly Last Edit: 11 Oct 2015 08:23 by cordnoy.

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 03:06 #265536

Markz
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Posts: 8282
Karma: 427

Chiam wrote:

I got a text from a woman I got to know, and even though I deleted it, it still triggered something within me... Also, I have a knack for getting by restrictions...

Please see what I wrote above and let me know if any of these help

4- Go through your phone and block contacts that you can do without. Also do the same on your computer. Also put back some restrictions even if you feel like overriding them very soon. Do this for the next 15 min max

My Story---------Dov Quotes

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Last Edit: 11 Oct 2015 08:24 by cordnoy.

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 03:49 #265540

`Chaim
Current streak: 3 days
OFFLINE
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Posts: 62
Karma: 2

I'm still in middle of scanning the handbook, but I have been working on tools like reminding myself that excitement is an intense happiness but this excitement does not bring happiness so it's a fraud. Also, that I need to strengthen my identity and THIS IS NOT ME, THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.. I have to repeat it a million times. Those scenes that I fantasize of her and me.. that "me" IS NOT ME. It's absurd and not real. Those imaginings are fake and she is fake. She only wants my money, and even though this isn't the only reason why it's fake it should be an obvious sign that it is.

Now, even though did delete that text.. I still am restless and want to act out.. My body will not explode if I don't and I am going to feel bad if I act out so mine as well have this "bad" feeling, a bad feeling that I should look at like when I'm lifting weights, which is a bad feeling only because it hurts my body but gives the great feeling that comes with working out. I'm working out right now and I should enjoy this feeling of NOT giving in because it's building my spiritually and resilience muscles. The only difference between this and working out is that working out entails putting down the bar for breaks and rest periods. Here, however, even though I most likely will fall again sometime, I'm not going to take a break from this wonderful workout that never ends and will become more natural (like breathing workouts for people recovering from a bed-ridden illness). I just need to commit to break this thing and internalize all that I will learn. I will win!!!

PS. sorry for all this rambling, but it really helps
Also, if I said something that anyone feels isn't healthy let mee know... I'm new to the program

Shmiras HaChaim:
Every day is a chance to change your life

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 03:55 #265541

dms1234 Current streak: 767 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1106 Karma: 49	WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH! deep breath!! everything is going to be just fine!
	I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor.

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 03:59 #265542

`Chaim Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 62 Karma: 2	That was to answer your questions Markz. Thanks for your suggestion. Shmulyz, I am not in surroundings like you describe on a daily basis and I am inspired how you are able to hold up in such a place. I have to go out to see such things! And yes she is very attractive, but attractiveness means nothing if it's only for the fulfillment of of one's crude base desires.
	Shmiras HaChaim: Every day is a chance to change your life

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 04:01 #265543

bigmoish
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Platinum Boarder
Posts: 1194
Karma: 170

I posted this on your main thread. It would probably make the continuity easier if you just put everything in one place, but I'll post it here as well:
Bigmoish wrote:

Try getting out of the fantasy and into "real life," even if just for a short time. Anybody need help around the house? Being unselfish for a few minutes might also help get us out of that mindset. We can only live in the fantasy when we are thinking of ourselves.

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 04:03 #265544

`Chaim Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 62 Karma: 2	Ha ha... I'm taking deep breaths
	Shmiras HaChaim: Every day is a chance to change your life

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 04:08 #265545

`Chaim Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 62 Karma: 2	Got it Bigmoish. thanks
	Shmiras HaChaim: Every day is a chance to change your life

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 04:09 #265546

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8282 Karma: 427	Chiam wrote: Ha ha... I'm taking deep breaths Some guys take a cold shower to remove lustful mindset. It has proven to help with breathing too
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 06:24 #265556

the.guard Current streak: 805 days OFFLINE Moderator Posts: 6438 Karma: 138	Chiam wrote: Hi.. no time for introductions... Also, I have a knack for getting by restrictions and I stumbled upon a new way for doing so. Please help!!! Click here to listen to a 40 minute shiur that explains the TaPHSiC method in detail.
	Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 16:40 #265598

`Chaim Current streak: 3 days OFFLINE Senior Boarder Posts: 62 Karma: 2	k thanks Guard, I'll get to that eventually.
	Shmiras HaChaim: Every day is a chance to change your life

Re: Just help me get by tonight! 11 Oct 2015 16:55 #265600

Markz
OFFLINE
Platinum Boarder
Posts: 8282
Karma: 427

Chiam wrote:

k thanks Guard, I'll get to that eventually.

Ok. What you gonna be doing in the meanwhile?

Chiam wrote:

I have been working on tools like reminding myself that... excitement does not bring happiness so it's a fraud. Also, that I need to strengthen my identity and THIS IS NOT ME, THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.. I have to repeat it a million times. Those scenes that I fantasize of her and me.. that "me" IS NOT ME. It's absurd and not real. Those imaginings are fake and she is fake. She only wants my money...

... I'm new to the program

I'm also quite new. Just got this shiny truck and Im still waiting for the license and keys to arrive in the mail

Chiam,
These things you wrote - did you see them in the handbook? I don't think so - correct me if I'm wrong.

1- what you wrote "excitement does not bring happiness" does not work for me to restrict my lust at all

2- but more importantly "THIS IS NOT ME, THIS IS NOT WHO I AM" Regarding the fantasizationalityismgy you're right. But regarding the condition I'm born with to lust - It is me. And when I remind myself that it's me = being honest of my condition, which I surrender to Gd, that's what saves me

My Story---------Dov Quotes

FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote