Hay Way.
It's strange not seeing this thread up on the recent threads list.
I don't log in so often but I get emails of some threads. I thought that yours somehow got unsubscribed because it was quiet for so long. How have you been doing?

Ok guys yes I have been out of the loop and fell for a while but am now back in.

Firstly thanks to the graphics artist. The design gets nicer and nicer every time I log in.

Now my latest escapade. Yes unfortunatley I did get involved with some on-line chatting again with the other gender. Some girl played me good and started majorly flirting with me.(she was good looking) She aksed me numerous times if we should meet up.We also had some regular silly talk. One of the conversation revolved around kids. And I said my kids are "delicous". So she replies what does that mean. I replied just sooooo cute, great persoanlities and fun to be around with.Then she asks me so why do you wanna cheat? And I told her I don't wanna cheat bec I love my wife. Basiclly just looking for extra satisfaction but will probably never physically cheat although I think she is beuatifull. Then she spills the beans and tells me that she is letting me know this because she thinks I am a good person. She really intended to play with me just to tease me and get me because she hates when married guys "cheat". She told me to go get therapy. And then she said oh and you remember our converstaion re your sweet children. Well I work as a therpaist dealing with sexuallyy abused children and the word "delicous" raises alarm bells and if you ever chat with anyone else never say that.

That scared the heck out of me. Yes I did clarify myself and I really don't think there is much dirt to throw at me because of an expression. (I also googled it and found out the delicous, edible etc.. terms that my wife uses evem more than me are generally jewish terms used to refer to children and its not used often in secular circles) But the idea that you are playing with fire when chatting with complete strangers who don't know you and have different cultures shocked me. And another time they can take your picture (Yes I hate sharing pics but I did the stupid thing anyhow) and blackmail you. Then you have the website hackers and scammers. Their first trick is pose like good looking females. Thats the best trick how to spam and hack or blackmail.And of course just her whole got ya, tricked you thing and musser shmuz frm a goyisha shikitza sort of gave me a jolt.

Bottom line for total gashmuis purposes I am done with the idea of flirting. Its too dangerous. I do know that without working on my core lust issue I am playing with fire. So I am back although its hard to say that day 1 will be no more masterbating. It defintley should be.

Also I will not be constantly sitting all day posting on GYE. My last heated debate ended up turning me off a bit for various reasons which I will not post. So my new policy will be,I will post limited questions or responses, once in the morning and once late afternoon but not 24/6. Even though this is a heilige site. One on one chats on this site I have often found to be very productive though so i'll be around.

Welcome back.

Welcome back!
Sorry to hear about the sexcapades.
Your road to recovery should be blessed with hatzlachah.

Welcome back, Way.  Thanks for sharing how you were playing with fire and for showing the big dangers.  May you see much success.  

Reb Waydown,

Please install the best filters possible on all your devices.
If you got no filters the GYE thing alone wont help you.
Please do it for your holly Nshoma.

Eyeglasses It's not necessary

עשו משמרת למשמרת

So I'm gonna double shut my big mouth, but I repeat its not necessarily necessary

Yes thats 100% true and very elequontley said. Bottom line is , He needs to address the root of the evil, which is his self serving attitude and he needs to stop indulging."

Now the question is how is letting go of resentment , forgiving others, etc... (steps 4-6) addressing ones self indulgence? Is it simply because when I am mevatel myself to others I am doing the opposite of self indulgence? So we are kind of saying treat the mida by running in the other direction?

Welcome back! I was thinking of you over the last few days and was hoping you were doing okay. I'm glad you survived this round but please be careful. Of course you were jolted, but it's kind of like most of us after masturbating. We feel resolved to stop... until the next morning when the effect fades away. I don't like to think what would happen if you C"V went all the way.
This is not intended as a mussar shmuz. I'm genuinely concerned for you. 

waydown wrote on Unknown:

Maybe it's not. Do you feel that it has helped you in this regard?

Last nite I was in jolt mood! So totaly clean. i am trying to keep up the streak. My wife is muter soon so I just have to hold out till I can give & take in a muter way.

PS I know that last sentence is disputable by many but I am doing what woks for me temporarly. This is a forum so everybody should feel free to post, But bear in mind it won't really change what works for me. And so that I don't get too overexcited and heated up please don't get offended if I don't respond.

Glad to hear you're doing well.
I don't think I understand. What exactly is it that works for you?
If there are things that don't work for you, you probably shouldn't bother yourself trying to figure out why they work for other people. Just stick to what works.

I thought your only problem was at nights and with masturbation? 
Is this a new thing you just fell into?
If I understand correctly, your wife was assur the last few weeks and I suspect that somehow that is connected to the chatting. 
Perhaps it would be worthwhile to look for a plan that can hold up even when your wife is a nidda?
just saying