Any ideas for me to keep going?
When I started my 90 days when I found GYE I was at the point where I could not even glance at a woman without getting an urge. So every time I saw a woman in the street I bit myself or caused some other minor pain to retrain my mind that its not an enjoyable sight. That worked but now 80 days later that whole problem is starting up again. I desperately need ideas especially with summer bain hazmanim coming. I really feel myself starting to slide back down the slope.

Jake, chaver thank you for your honesty and reaching out now. First of all focus on right now, forget about yesterday and don't think about tomorrow. Take a deep breath or 3 and relax. Say this prayer: "God, I'm standing at the turning point right now. Give me your protection and care as I abandon myself to you and give up my old ways and my old ideas just for today. Take away these thoughts of anxiety, trepidation and lust that have no purpose or use for me right now." Say it tonight and when you wake up and as many times as you need to.

Come on the GYE call that is now and talk about and surrender your obsession and ask God to remove it for today.

I have a version of that. The last couple of weeks I've had a few real close calls. I have felt that I am not at the top of my game and I am concerned.

I gave it some thought and realized that in the hot hazy summer I was always most challenged. Then I realized that I have more down time than during the year.
I am now a little stricter on my possible triggers. I am davening and connecting to Hashem in a stronger way.

Also, when the "urges" subside and I can think clearer I play out in my mind what would be the feeling after the fall( I don't play out the fall itself)

That sense of loss and depression sobers me up fast and motivates me to keep my new stricter level of triggers.

C'mon Jake your almost at 90.

Think of the thrill when all your chashuve friends here will congratulate you.
If you climbed Mount Everest, scored the three pointer at the buzzer to help your team win the championship or drive that grand slam over the fence to win in the bottom of the ninth - those feelings can't compare or be as long lasting, certainly not as MEANINGFUL
or deep as hitting the big 90

Jake! I'll tell you what I would want to hear from my buddies here on GYE when I'm in the situation where you are.
"Keep Trukin bro! you can do this! you know the guilty ugly depressing feeling after you fall...and the happy uplifting inlightning beautiful feeling when you concure the monster! feeling an urge or a weak moment is totally normal! Talk to you tomorrow at day 81 clean!!!"

Keep going! Sure, there's a high when you start out. But is there anyone here who reached the finishing point with the positive feeling of finishing a marathon?

I don't know.

I feel like it's more like winning a war (yes, that's probably why it's referred to as that). You come back home all wounded. Dirty. You lost a few friends. You're a different person now. But you won.

Don't give up. We're not going to give up on you.

Great to hear from you again.

Today is the only day that counts.

Bhatzlachah

Made it trough the past couples of days and still going! I started davening the short tefillah again and using everyone's tips and its working. Really appreciate everyone's post. It gave me tremendous chizuk and drove home how isolated I was until now. Hatzlocha to all.