Day 1

After acting out yet again, as I have done so many times for the past 7 years, I felt such a disappointment in myself, I felt as if I was stuck in quicksand, up to my neck, struggling to breath. Then I remembered GYE. I discovered GYE about a week ago, and I really liked what I saw, but I slipped back into work and GYE slipped to the back of my mind. I decided, after my fall today, that I have to take action, I cannot just remain submissive to the monster of lust that has been lurking in my life, waiting to pounce every day for 7 years now. I realise that this thing only has as much power over me as I allow it to have, and from today I do not allow it to have a shred of power over me. I know there will be withdrawal symptoms, but I am not alone in this battle, I have G-d, and I have the GYE community at my back.

My first step will be to get my routine back on track. Strict bed-time and wake up times, a regular schedule of posting to my journal, a regular schedule of prayer and reading. As precautions in the event of lust tapping me on the shoulder, I will form the habit of immediately praying, and subsequently come to GYE and post about the experience. Lust comes in waves, and doing the above will allow me to ride out the wave.

My second step, after achieving 2-3 days of sobriety will be to start the 90 day program, I feel that if I have a short term goal to work towards I will keep a sane mind amidst the storm.

Please pray for me, and by all means, leave comments and suggestions.
Kind regards,
David de Oude

You sound like you're really off to a good start. We are here for you and look forward to hearing more from you!

Cool! Welcome! Sounds like your doin ok.
Interesting that you say about getting back into a strict schedule. I wrote this for myself a while back it helped me organize my thoughts. It went:
I grow through consistency.
If I'm not consistent, chaos reigns.
If chaos reigns, lust takes over.
If lust takes over, I lose everything.
I lose my desire to grow, learn, fight and provide.
I shut down, my whole focus is to fulfill my lust.
Therefore consistency is important for me.

Hope it helps.

Welcome David!!!!

May you have lots of hatzlachah !!!!

Great thing you joined in here on gye. There is tons to learn and great guys.

Looking forward to seeing and hearing from you!!!

I will definitely keep you posted!

Thank you so much Triggermenot88, it is very well written and I may use it myself. Bravo!

Toda Raba, dd, I am looking forward to working with you. So very glad I found this community!

I have now started my 90 day journey to sobriety, and as such have moved my journal to:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/252599-And-thus-begins-my-90-day-journey-to-sobriety#252599

Please follow my journey there, and feel free to make suggestions and encouragements.

Kind regards,
David de Oude