Hi Everybody! lately I've been through a rough patch having trouble to stay clean, bh I think I am back in track.

The reason I am posting is because I am a bit depressed. I am struggling with the fact that I know I have to be clean and that it is better for my ruchnius, shalom bayis, etc. On the other hand I feel I will never get the same level of "physical" pleasure as acting out, I love my wife, but there is no way that the real thing can compete with your imagination and absolute dedication to your own self. I know this is the antithesis of everything we stand for, we need to be giving people and care about others, especially our family, but it is a bit depressing to know if you were to be clean from now on that you will never experience that. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this and have any advice. I know it is the wrong kind of thinking, but I just can't get my mind of this topic.

Thanks!!

firstly, even on a practical level, how can the self imagination carin' about self compare with the 'real thing'?

But more importantly, I have no idea if you are an addict or not, but please read and perhaps even do the step 4 exercises in the big book. they are all about negatin' one's self, and livin' life for another - God, wife, family, etc.

And finally, again on a practical level....maybe you're right, and therefore what? Is that enjoyment gonna outweigh all the advantages of sobriety?

b'hatzlachah

The seforim say that any assur pleasure we give up will be made up in a muttar way. So you will not lose a thing. It's just a question of muttar or assur. You cannot get any pleasure that Hashem has not decreed upon you. So, you will get it either way. Just one way has tons of baggage with it, and one is free!

Hello!, I recognize that you are not new here, reading and posting frequently is a big help.
You should know by now, we are made to believe that the other side has more and better pleasures but in reality its not so, for the minute after you feel the terrible low of low, life without sobriety is HELL on earth, unbearable unmanageable full of pain and suffering, in order to maintain sobriety we need to be ready to give up many pleasures and learn to live real life, it takes hard work but is worth the hassle anytime, I wish you much Hatzlacha on the long trip and a Kosher Happy Chag.

belmont4175 wrote:


for some

I understand, but it still seems depressive to let go on the only "healthy" (as opposed to alcohol, drugs, etc) "pleasure" that you can control. Life is tough, and it gets harder and harder, I am just trying to say that this is one of the few things that provides you with your dose of pleasure in an otherwise rough world. Anyone has gone through this emotion?