Hi guys I need some help. I am a bachur 21 years old and not ready to get married yet. I have a CRAZY sex drive and I can't stop thinking about girls. I once went to a strip club and I am constantly thinking about it. I can't get over it. Sometimes I can go for a few months with out watching porn or masterbating bit I always fail after a few! Is there a way to make sure to be clean forever!?

Hey, youve come to the right place. There are tons of tools on this site to help so really spend time reading up here and seeing all that is offered. This forum is one of the best tools for support as we are all together in this. Your starting a journey that will be difficult and full of ups and downs, i myself came here not long ago and it hasnt been easy, nor have i stopped forever, though by being active here you get stronger and learn how to pick yourself up and keep going at it. So please stay active here and keep us all posted. dont give up if you fall, were all here to help eachother back up and focus on one challange at a time

Clown - from my point of view, you have a very normal and human drive
it could be that you just weren't careful in the past so you got a little out of control.

The first thing you should do now, is NOT to think about your past!
leave it for the better times.

We work,grow, and change by having the future in mind,
The future is not a year from now, it's a day - hour - or even a minute from now.

Start reading the Hanbook and get working
Behatzluche

Hey Clown,

The site has a good tool to gauge you specific level of dependence on this behavior:

guardyoureyes.com/the-gye-program/initial-evaluation

Being able to walk away from it for months at a time might mean that you're not necessarily addicted, but don't take that from me. Read up on the criteria, etc., and answer those questions for yourself.

But as for whether there is a way to completely stay clean: Yes, absolutely. It takes hard work though, and planning.

WELCOME! You have come to the right place! Your story is not uncommon or unusual. Read the handbook. Post here. Open up.

Do you have a rebbi or mentor that you can share your struggle with? Keep posting and reading. There's lots of good stuff here. I have some great links in my signature that you can check out.

We are here for you! There is no way to "make sure you are clean forever", BUT there is a way to live a happier life every day, and to be much less likely to act out.

NEVER EVER GIVE UP! I was in your position. I acted out for over 20 years. B"H, I'm sober now for 5 1/2 years. The earlier you address this issue the better. I only started to get better when my wife caught me after over a decade of marriage. It was very damaging. B"H, things are much better now, but save yourself the agony, and get help NOW! MAZAL TOV on taking the important first step.

Clown - great to have you here... as you can see with the replies before mine, there are a lot of great guys here... you are not alone in your struggles. You've already taken the first big step in reaching out to us, as breaking isolation is a key to getting better. It might seem like now that you'll never get over it (I was/am familiar with that feeling)... but take it from all of us - even though it is hard work - it is definitely possible to do. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

Have a great Shabbos,
Larry

Welcome,

There are lots of tools here, like have been said above.
Skep's tips, Gibbor's links, sticky posts above, gye handbook, home page and more.

What might be the best is openin' up to someone you trust and who knows you and can guide you.

b'hatzlachah

Welcome Clown!!!!

Its great to have you here. We hope that as a clown you bring loads of simcha here. And us the guys here will bring you to real simcha that comes with recovery. But the one that can make it all happen is only you and we could help. So make yourself at home and keep on posting. There is tons to learn here so go for it.

Keep up the good work KUTGW!!!!

Chavoua Tov, happy that you found this amazing place to share your difficulties with real friends who understand you !

In fact I'm waiting with lot of attention your story and your progression bH because I'm 20 and h'izuk and advices here could be very effective for me as well !

Anyway you have made a great step by writing here, certainly an extremely powerfull tool to be able to share and go out from loneliness.

Hoping to hear good news from you soon !!