Now youre getting it Striving!

Your addiction didnt happen overnight, and it wont dissapear overnight either.
As Ive posted before; for every year that you have been acting out, give yourself 1 month healing time.
Patience patience patience.

Giving to the elderly is one of the best ways to give - and GET. You can learn so much from their life experience. And if anyone  knows to live in the 'now', it should be the elderly.

yea i hear you. bauch hashem, i have only been acting out for 4 months with this issue. i can be more patient. at least i can try!

ok guys i did what everyone said i should do. i cut it off. there you go, its all ovr and we are never going to speak again. never mind how it happened but it did.

i really need everyone to come through on this one. i know this is starting to get annoying but here i am and i need help. its day 1 knowing were never going to speak again. you guessed it, i feel worse even though i took a step forward.
please help. this is the final draw. i need to put this behind me now that i know its all over and done with.
thanks
striving

Wow Striving,

Thats truly amazing. You have great strength and power inside you. We can all see that. Now that you've taken it to the first level, lets start slowly bringing it up a notch very gradually. You just gave me alot of Chizuk. I'll be here right with you along th way.


-INH

We feel for you!!

www.chabad.org/multimedia/kabbala_toons/default_cdo/aid/621790/jewish/Sky-Diving.htm

www.aish.com/d/w/54929572.html

wow thank you so much for the links. that was actually amazing

dont take chizuk from me though. the reason why we are completely not talking was bc i texted her and she lashed out. then i relaized it had to come to end. so yea, it was bc of my weakness. maybe it was min hashamyim, i dont know. bottom line is its over and i have to go through this. maybe al the hard stuff that happened to me since we broke up is some sort of a tikkun for the many times i slippied up around her. any ideas on that?

I have pretty reliable inside information that it was.




If you take it as a tikkun for that, then yes, it definitely will be!

well what else am i supposed to take it as? i tried realy really hard for a test and did worse than all the people who didnt even study! how else can i explain this to myself?? please tell me reb guard!

The ways of Hashem are hidden... All we can do is give ourselves over to Him, as we brought in today's Chizuk e-mail, and ask that His will be done, not ours.

May G-d give you a new heart to serve him in truth and purity and TRUST.

Lots of love,
Gurad

Striving,

I just saw this now.

Ouch! Doing the right thing doesnt mean its not painful. I really feel for you.
Hashem saw that it was just too difficult for you to make the break, so He gave her the strength to do it for you instead.

NO one here can, or should, take her place.
But we can be here for you as real friends who honestly care about you and want you to succeed as much as we want ourselves to.

Because were all in the same teiva, an when one sinks, we all do.
"Kol Yisrael areivim ze lazeh"

hey guys-

i had my first appointment with a counselor yesterday. it went pretty well, but he did not reveal anything i was not already aware of. its been 4 days since we completely broke it off. shes creeping into my head all the time. i need to find ways to get her out. i tried telling myself to oush it off but its still not working. ideas?

thanks for all the help and support
-striving

strivingfortruth wrote on 03 Nov 2009 21:47:


PATIENCE

With the councelor
With the breakup
with yourself!

PATIENCE
PATIENCE
PATIENCE!

And we're with you.

and when i tel myself i really would not have minded being friends with her and just talking once a week? also, i feel bad that theres someone out there who dislikes me, someone who is sort of an "enemy" (not really, but you know what i mean)

i get it, i need patience. but still, i need answers to these questions that come up in my head.

Talking once a week would be nothing more than a tease to both of you Striving.

I understand your pain, and hear the hurt in your words very clearly.

I hope you arent upset with us for encouraging this break, but please please believe me that we  are only looking to help both of you with long term solutions instead of short term fixes.

Dont forget, nothing is set in stone.
Once you are on the road to recovery, nothing says you cant re-establish the relationship; healthier, happier, and with safe  bounderies.

Turn to Hashem and direct your tears to Him.
He's listening

Maybe some of the ideas on this page can help:
www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ15.asp

One day you will look back at this difficult period of your life and tell your children what you learned from it and how it made you into a MAN; into a servant of Hashem.