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WOW! Thank you for opening up! I had similar experiences. I think if you share more with us, you will feel better and we will also feel better

You're not alone and guess what?
There's hope!

So keep on posting and wait for the GYE magic!

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Thanks for the share.
Welcome again (from your other thread which you began several days ago).
Sorry to hear about your sickness.
Refuah shleimah.
Many of our stories have similar beginnin's, middles or ends.
Welcome to the club.
Gettin' your story out - even an anonymous forum does wonders.
It's a first step, but an important one.
We are here with you and feel for you.
Your road to recovery should be blessed with hatzlachah

Shalom aleichem, Tzedek! Welcome !

Sounds like lots of pain from someone with true yiras shomayim.

May Hashem be with you!

Keep sharing, and keep us in suspense at just the right cutoff points, you master storyteller! :-)

May you know no more suffering.

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We are readin' every word.
We are here with you and for you.

Have yourself a wonderful Shabbos.

b'hatzlachah

WELCOME! Thank you for your honest and open share. It is rare in first posts. Many people have done similar things and are in recovery now living happier lives than they ever thought possible. You can too. Keep sharing. We are "listening". We know what you are going through.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!

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Please be careful about describing your story. Paragraph 3 of your recent post is way too graphic. Please edit.

Also you keep mentioning your 2 illnesses . You don't have to say them on the forum but it may be beneficial to reach out to someone hear and describe what they are. Perhaps you can work on them and eventually be free of them.

You're story is incredible, Please keep going!!!!!!!! AHH! It's too heart wrenching! I want to hear more!

Welcome to GYE!!!

I relate to a lot of what you write, the being disgusted yet watching, stopping but not being able to...

There is hope, it takes time, it takes work, and it may not seem like the answer you were expecting as it wasn't the one I was expecting, but the one I found is much more exciting than the one I thought I was going to get.

There is no quick fix (which I was looking for) there is only changing myself, my attitudes my outlook on life, and that takes time!!

Keep on posting, you're doing an amazing job!!

And KOMT!!!!!!!

welcome.
I really hope that getting it out, will help you onto the next stage in your recovery. please realize that a lot of us can totally relate to your experience.

Yeah...I'm wondering what your illnesses are, too. Specifically, I am wondering if the illnesses you refer to include masturbation addiction - cuz what you wrote so far does not sound like an addiction to me. I admire your honesty so far, even admitting discovering your frustrating attraction to violent porn, then admitting the disgust that helped you feel free of it - for a few days, or whatever it turned out to be. Are you still clean since then, chaver?

If stating what your illnesses are, could be actual identifying facts, then please remember that GYE is an open forum and therefore a very unsafe place to give away who we are on the forum.

As far as using your real first name, as I do, it's usually safe - and many find it is the gateway to making real progress. Fear is rife here, we have it in gobs...and in the frum world, appearances mean so very much. Nu. It is sad that the only way some people will start to open up and speak out the truth about themselves is when they are hiding from everyone real and using a fake name behind a computer in a virtual community, making virtual friends. I have made friends with so many here so far. Brave men taking faltering steps into a new world, really.

You are breaking out of your hiding, though, and it is amazing! So, as others here have written, I hope you keep on posting, man.