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Long time struggle
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Long time struggle 693 Views

Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 00:31 #236715

Hi, I'm a long time reader- first time poster. Maybe I'll check out the welcome committee thread after. This is my problem. I have been struggling with "acting out" for several years(MZL). I am 20 year old bachur. A big problem I feel I have is that even if I go strong for a week- I might fall and then I'll say to myself, "Oh well, I fell again, I guess I'll try to stop again. But I don't feel HORRIBLE about it. Especially since many people on this site struggle with this, I don't get depressed or anything. I think I need to change my attitude. Do I? Please help. Also I live in a very small town so I can't speak to other people about these kind of things.

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 00:39 #236717

  • cordnoy
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Welcome,

Firstly, maybe you can ask permission and see if you can join the teens' threads as well (for sometimes their struggles are different than the older fellows).
Secondly, why would a small town be different? Are there no mentors, Rabbis, therapists, etc.?
And lastly, if it doesn't really depress you, and you don't feel terrible about actin' out, this site might not be for you. Enjoy yourself in the meantime; why go thru the hard work that many of us need to go through? Sobriety ain't easy!

Either way....welcome aboard!

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
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MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 04 Aug 2014 01:00 by cordnoy.

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 00:43 #236718

  • dms1234
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WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!


Not sure if it should or needs to depress you to need this site. But if you are using it to escape your problems than perhaps GYE would be useful. Definitely in recovery depression is terrible. Depression is the feeling of worthlessness and their is no place for that in recovery.

So stick around, if you cant control yourself and just keep falling than this site will probably help you.
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 00:48 #236719

  • ewards
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so soup kitchen

I struggle with acting out and I don't really feel horrible or get to down about . I know i should do better and since I've been here i am doing better but still i slip . I can't stop over nite but i can go on the journey and stay clean for periods and when i stay clean i have a chance to view things from a different perspective I recently came from a 24 day clean period and then I messed up so I try again . Hang in there and you can improve if you really want to . Stick around
ewards
can not figure how to get a smiley ??????

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 01:04 #236721

  • cordnoy
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Mr. Ewards,

Perhaps explain the following:

You don't really feel too bad about actin' out, but you really wanna improve and stay clean.

I understand that just because you wanna improve - doesn't mean you should be depressed and stuff, but it sounds like (and perhaps I am way off) that actin' out is like a pesty fly that you want shoo'ed away; and if it doesn't...oh well; if I get it to the other room (a few days break), goodie! and if it comes back, I'll use the swatter again.

Me personally, I'd try the zapper!

thanks

b'hatzlachah to us all
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 01:17 #236726

  • ewards
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cordnoy wrote:
Mr. Ewards,

Perhaps explain the following:

You don't really feel too bad about actin' out, but you really wanna improve and stay clean.

I understand that just because you wanna improve - doesn't mean you should be depressed and stuff, but it sounds like (and perhaps I am way off) that actin' out is like a pesty fly that you want shoo'ed away; and if it doesn't...oh well; if I get it to the other room (a few days break), goodie! and if it comes back, I'll use the swatter again.



Me personally, I'd try the zapper!

thanks

Well thanks for your insite there lol i had not thought of it in that way . To be honest there may be some truth in what you say I don't deny that . Although it may be better for me than quoting all at once . I don't know

b'hatzlachah to us all
can not figure how to get a smiley ??????

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 01:21 #236727

  • ewards
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OH and actually if I could explain this stuff I would not be on this site I would have it all under control . So I don't know

ewards
can not figure how to get a smiley ??????

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 01:30 #236731

  • cordnoy
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no, no, no.
no need to explain.
I/we are here, for our life was unmanageable.
We wanna improve, but we don't know how.
we come here to learn the tricks of the trade.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 01:46 #236732

  • ewards
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cordnoy

one more thought why don't you try the zapper your self and then you wouldn't need this site

ewards
can not figure how to get a smiley ??????

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 02:01 #236733

  • ewards
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cordnoy wrote:
no, no, no.
no need to explain.
I/we are here, for our life was unmanageable.
We wanna improve, but we don't know how.
we come here to learn the tricks of the trade.


Well you know i am struggling to day and i didn't find your comment on the thread very helpful to me or the other guy . I don't know any thing about you but we all need to be care full before we click . Seems to me u tend to be better than others . You can't intimidate me but i don't know about that other guy . So lets be friends but a little more selective in what or how we say . I have been quilty also of clicking before i read my post .

ewards
can not figure how to get a smiley ??????

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 03:15 #236738

  • cordnoy
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My apologies.
I'm not sure what you mean by "better than others."
I am also an open book.
My threads reveal so much of my struggles.
My first comment to you today - you seemed to like; which one was the problem?

My apologies again.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 03:36 #236739

  • ineedchizuk
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Poor soup kitchen was hijacked :-( (couldn't figure out how 2 get a smiley, but I got the sad'ey)

Hey Soup Kitchen, Shalom Aleichem, welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you need to come to terms with the fact that you're just not as special as most of us, therefore you don't worship avoda zara (yiush) after falling.

but don't let it get you down- no need to get depressed for not getting depressed! :-) (got it!)

Re: Long time struggle 04 Aug 2014 03:37 #236740

  • cordnoy
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Mr. Soup Kitchen,
In my welcomin' response to you, i wrote that this site man not be for you.
My intention was and is solely to get you to think.
You obviously came here for a reason; yet, you wrote that actin' out occasionally is somewhat like part of life...no real big deal.
Now, that may be how you feel, and it may not.
Perhaps I was readin' it wrong.
But either way, my point is that recovery from this stuff is tough work.
It takes a commitment and it usually begins with an attitude that "my life sucks the way it is."
That's how I started here.
I hit rock bottom and I needed out.
Bottom line...if you wanna improve in any way possible...be it small or large, then welcome aboard!
Ultimate recovery, however, might come only when one realizes that the way his life is now is unmanageable, for if it is ok, why bother changin'?

I wrote last week: Don't ask: Am I ready to live without it (the porn and masturbation); rather, ask: Am i ready to live with it (P & M)?

Thank you

Don't be a stranger.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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