Hello to all.
I am new here although I while back I tried this, but for some reason did not put myself in to it. (for freight my wife will see one of your emails )
My background:
Mother died when was young father remarried ran away from home when I was under 12 do to extreme abuse (non sexual) struggled through life married with two kids.

Problem 1-when I do not masterbate my senses are heightened immensely everything I see drives me crazy.

Problem 2- although I did look at a lot of porn I don't feel like that is my main struggle my main struggle is to walk in the street and see other women it makes me go haywire (Worse then porn) now porn I have the option not to look, but in the street what am i to do it is there looking away is usually to late when i was a bucher i used to fight myself time and time again till i stopped fighting and gave up.

I wrote this a while ago.

Walkin' Outside in da Summer

b'hatzlachah

WELCOME!

Its tough and it will take time but you can do it!!!!!!! Remember every girl you don't see is a success! Also if a girl happens to walk in your view, that's not you're fault. That's on Hashem!

Never give up too! Remember we make mistakes. If you happen to look at a girl it doesn't mean you lost. You don't have to give up and keep looking. Just restart and try again.

KOT! KEEP ON TRUCKING!

Welcome godhelp to GYE!! (We always welcome God's help to Guard our eyes!!!)

You certainly have a lot to deal with, very good reason to want to run away from all those emotions that aren't very comfortable to live with!

Have you spoken to anybody about your life? Have you spoken to anyone about your lust struggle?

You're worth it, and there is a way!! Keep on trying, just comking back is already a sign that you're on the right path!!

BTW, you don't have to receive any emails from GYE, and also you can open a new account that your wife doesn't know about and send the emails there.

KOT brother!! We're all together in this!!

Thank you all for all the support you have given me , just really need something more i can't control the first look and thats killing me can anyone tell me if these first looks stop affecting you as time goes on because i can't live like this regarding porn i have no problem stopping i am clean for 4 days already but these first looks are everywhere.

Great work!!! Define first look? Is that just she happen to walk into the picture or you actually stare at her.

I am sorry to say that girls are everywhere and Hashem made them attractive so we are going to have to be careful where ever we go. But look at you! You are gaining awareness of your first looks. That is incredible! Keep building awareness and soon you will start anticipating! (So you don't even turn your head to see if there's a girl)

Anyhow, a good tip is to relax and concentrate on just today, even just right now. The future is irrelevant right now. So take a deep breathe and carry on through your day!

KOL! Keep on living!

Shalom aleichem and welcome to gye!
So you're the one Moses gave smicha to in this week's parsha- pleased to meet you(':

First, glad to hear you've been clean for a coupla days- awesome!

Although I didn't think of it as my greatest issue, now that I have some sense of control of where I look, I am a different person. So liberating not to HAVE to look! While just a few weeks ago passing a pretty girl would make my heart race, with Hashem's help it becomes much much more bearable.

But one thing's for sure: it won't change over night.
I am learning to take pleasure and thank Hashem for each small step. The yetzer hara gets so mad at me every time I do that! He's like, 'hey, don't we have a deal that it's either all or nothing? What right do you have to be happy for NOT looking once- you have so any other aveiros!' Whatever- sorry yetzer. The rules of the game have changed!

So for me to work on shmiras einayim, I need to focus on what can I do NOW: whether it's staying away from where there may be triggers, not looking, turning away after I looked, etc etc etc.

One moment at a time....