I am with the Help of G-g approaching 90 days clean. I am still very weak and have had moments when I came close to falling. I am afraid that once I hit 90 day and I will not have a clear goal that I will be vulnerable to the  enticement of the evil one.

Will the people who have traveled this road share some insights.


Thank you

HELLO This is not a joke. I really need advice. 7up gave me some on my thread and I know this point is talked about other places on the site but I still would VERY much like to hear what my heros have to say.

Speaking of not having a clear goal... why not make "Half a year" your next goal? We have levels on our wall-of-honor for Half a year and a year.

Our dear member "Jack" - who was addicted for 38 years before he found our website - and is now clean for over a year - wrote once as follows:

It's been 8 1/2 months clean with only one slip, and I can genuinely say that the desire for that junk is fading. It took me a 90 day period of absolutely terrifying rides on the roller coaster [see Jack's 90 day time-line here], but once the rides came to a stop, the junk was gone. And as more and more time goes on, that junk gets further in the past, and fades. However, we must still be careful and we can't let our GUARD down, because the addiction is still there, like a spark in our subconscious that can be ignited anytime. So no smoking around an addict, because the fumes may ignite that dormant spark. "Once an addict, always an addict", (it's in the neuron-pathways; in our psyche). ONWARD!!!

Our dear member "Ano" (a Bochur who is clean for close to a year now) writes:

The "90 days" is a leap of faith. It really does get SO much easier. I'm 20 years old now. I'd never gone a whole week clean since age 12. I went pretty much cold turkey with the help of GUE and a Rebbi at my yeshiva. The 90 days helps give you something to look forward to, and that already makes is so much easier. Once you get there, it is much easier because you are in the habit of NOT acting out. However, by the time you reach 90 days (it took me a while, but I got there) you should not be allowing lust to take hold of you at all. If you are at 90 days "clean" but you are constantly clicking links which you are driven to by lust, you will not be able to hold out. All the filters in the world won't help if you aren't sincere. The lust is a poison, and once you have 90 days without it, it is much easier to see that. And with the clear realization that it is pure POISON, how COULD you click on it? That is how I see it.

It's a life-time journey, but it gets easier after 90 days, and even easier as we put more and more distance between us and the addiction...

Hope this helped!

Hi Holy Yid,
  I can see what your saying, although I am only halfway to 90 days I am also worried that at 90 days my y'h' is going to convince me to fall. I know that after 90 days it should get easier but I would hate to fall after such an impressive time of being clean. I hear your concern and I can only think that once 90 days is up, start counting again for another 90 days, keep counting........

Also well done holy yid for being clean for so long, this is an amazing achievement and gives me much strength to know that others out there are beating this addiction, please keep it up and I will do my best to keep clean for all you guys on here too! Only 46 days to go to 90 days....

Noson

Reb Guard,
Your post helped alot. regarding Ano's comments I don't puruse clicks with lust often but recently ( in the last week) I have been skirting on the edge of fallowing lust. I will see an add for something eivl and then think about going back to that sight so I can just check out that site (I am looking for deep kabalistic hints about the great secrets of the world on the site). I will bring up youtube thinking I am wondering about something ( I wish i knew what) and then click back. I am afraid of this behavior and I am ashamed to share that after 70 days clean I still  play these funny games with myself.

Playing with fire... Not a good idea. You need a strong filter that blocks youtube and other similar stuff, and you need to put up good fences using vows and such. See our vow pages to learn how to do this safely and effectively;

Here: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Tips/TipsShavuos.asp

and especially this page Here: www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ33.asp