Hi to all GYE Chevra

I would like to get feedback on an issue I find myself working through that I think might apply to others out there.

I have been on the GYE 'program' for about 80 days (phone conferences/chizuk/phone chevrusas etc...) and slowly feel my life getting back on track and the addiction and acting out B'H, becoming a thing of the past. Though I am vigilant and daven for one day at a time.

For most of my life I have also struggled with weight issues. In fact, I sort of found GYE from OA. About 6 months ago,I felt my food and eating was spiralling way out of control after a lengthy period of managing this problem. I went to two OA meetings but it somehow didn't feel 'right'. I didn't kind of click with the literature or the program.

While I realised that my issue was related to an 'addiction' to overeating and I understood powerlessness and unmanagability - somehow food didn't feel like my core problem. It struck me that sex addiction was a bigger and deeper problem and was a greater level of powerlessness and unmanagability for me.

I felt that I have these two 'addictions'. For many years it felt like Yakov wrestling with the malach. There were periods of time where sex was a bigger tayva and other times where I could 'control' sex and overeating was a bigger yetzer hora. I should be thankful that by and large both these problems didn't spiral out of total control at the same time!!!

The two taps were never turned on to full at the same time but they certainly were running at the same time!!

After realising that sex was a bigger core problem than overeating I didn't continue at OA, but came into GYE (which I had heard about sometime in late 2012 but didn't do anything about .....).

From the minute I could be with other frum guys afflicted with similar issues, my life changed. I have been sober for nearly 80 days and I feel I am in a real partnership between HaShem, myself and some chevra here. This gives me great chizuk and more confidence than ever that I am dealing with this addiction in a real way.

So, as I deal with this, I am finding that managing overeating is a real problem. I have spoken with some other chevra on GYE who have both addictions.

Sometimes I feel like addiction is one problem that manifests in different ways. Food and sex are both compulsive and obsessive behaviour, both seek a 'fix' and both are sought through intrigue and isolation.

Other times I feel that it is two distinct problems though both have similarities.

What I do know however, is that I thank HaShem every day for helping me in battling and (so far) overcoming sex addiction. and I also know that at a point I will have to confront overeating - whether through a 12 Step program or some other way. I see both the similarities and the differences.

I would like to hear from anyone else on the GYE forums on this.

Regards

Moshe in Australia

I don't know if I have a food problem but I definitely think that these two areas are linking. I do have to watch how much and what I eat at the same time I have to watch my lusting.

I have found in the past that I when I want to lust or when I am lusting I want to eat a lot.

It's definitely another area of our life that impacts this addiction ad therefore we should work towards improving

I definitely relate to having those two addictions. Both lust and food are sources of solace to me when I am upset, nervous, angry, bored etc.

Though thinking back on it, I think that I compartmentalized and used each addiction to treat different situations and feelings. So while I am progressing in my lusting, I am not making any real progress in my eating, since I am not dealing with those feelings and situations, and I still binge and eat when bored or angry.

With lust, I try to not even get into those situations and feelings that caused me to turn to lust as an escape in the first place, so I am not substituting eating for lust, but circumventing the whole thing. Perhaps I need to work on the eating thing as well.

Unfortunately, you do actually need to eat to live (unlike sex), so you can't just avoid it altogether.