Hey guys! I was doing so well for 9 days and then last night I couldn't fall asleep, I had so much energy in me, I kept on putting it off but the y'h got the better of me and I fell to mas*. I feel so depressed now, I made it so far, I usually only make it at most until day 5. As much as I guard my eyes and thoughts, I think my body is so used to mas* that it builds up semen and it needs to be released. I feel it is out of my control. I'm hoping that since I made it this far it will be easier the next time around to at least lengthen my clean streak

"Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs one at a time"
-Mark Twain

some say that build-up thingy....who knows? perhaps by some. don't convince yourself of it though.
gotta take action ..... this way you can seize the moment when it is before you.

b'hatzlachah

I just fell again within 12 hours, my y'h was telling me to get in another fix before I start my journey again. This time I fell really hard - with p*. I'm so upset right now.

verrrylost


Ah, yes. I have had this,Not being able to fall asleep because of too much energy. I hear you.

BUT great for putting it off and great for 9 days thats incredible!!!!

verrrylost


This is our worst friend. A fall sucks but feeling terrible about creates another fall (precisely what happened)
I say brush yourself off and KOTTT!!!!

The Y"H makes us think that if we give in, then it will become easier.\

Of course, the opposite is true - the more you give in, the harder it becomes.

On the other hand, the Y"H is too hard to FIGHT - eventually we give in.

So what else are you doing? Are you speaking to Hashem? Are you looking at other aspects of your life? Have you explained you story on the Forum?

It's not the falls that count, it whether or not you are beginning to live differently!
At the end of the day, we cannot fight this - only Hashem can take us out!

Looking forward to hearing more from you. Don't give up! Hashem is with you!

I have been in that same situation MANY times before. I take melatonin some nights to help me go to sleep. Melatonin is the hormone that tells your brain when it is time to sleep. I suggest getting some and trying it the next time you feel energetic at night.

-Eliyahu/Elias/some_guy

I have in both of you scenarios quite a few times. It's all the brilliance of the y'h.

Hi,
I fell this morning....

I had yesterday a fall after having 18 days clean. I got quite upset and wanted to give up. Then i had a good chat!
Maybe the fall yesterday was not in my range of choice, but wheter to get depressed after it and give up was my choice!!
So i tried to catch myself yesterday and learn from it.: Not to give up! As long as i am fighting i'm in the game! Its just important to learn something from every fall and do each day for itself!!!

I tried as well not to lust after women i've seen but to see them as persons who just try to life their day.. as i'm doing.
It realy made a difference, they triggered me LESS than before!

So.... today....
I think i fell 'cause i was afraid of the day i'm am facing today.
Much to learn, mountains of books which i know i won't do all today!

Anyway i started my day after the fall, (i would continue to fall today if not the message of yesterday!!!)
I"ll try to do the best of it, how far i will come is dependent on how much of willpower Hashem will grand me today.

Bless u for reading my megilla!

Lightning

Sorry to hear about your fall. The most important thing to do after a fall is to get up right away. If you don't, you may become depressed and loose your self esteem.