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making friends once married
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TOPIC: making friends once married 1215 Views

Re: making friends once married 20 Mar 2014 07:48 #229008

  • strugglingguy
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You can skip that stuff
i mostly watch online so it's easy for me to skip commercials and cheerleaders...

Re: making friends once married 20 Mar 2014 19:32 #229031

Once upon a time a kid was riding his bike around the block. His mother was sitting in front of their house. When he passed his mom he yelled out, "Look Ma! No hands!" Next time around he decided to be a bit more brave. He yelled out, "Look Ma! No feet!" And next time around he cried to his mom, "Look Ma! No teeth!"

The nimshal:
Look Ma, no commercials.
Look Ma, no cheerleaders.
Look Ma, no sobriety.

Note: I speak for myself (and for those who relate).

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: making friends once married 20 Mar 2014 21:23 #229037

  • strugglingguy
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I hear where you are coming from. Nevertheless, I want to advocate for my option, as well:
Response Mashal -
An invading army was lurking somewhat near a village. Both ground troops and naval warfare ships were in the surrounding areas and seas. The leader of the village spoke to his people - you basically have two choices:
You can try to lock your doors - maybe double lock them - and barricade yourselves. You will not see the enemy for about a week - they are about a week's time away. However, when the army does get here - and they find you alone in your houses, they will massacre you. They will find you because they have found people in other villages before. They will always get you at some point - if you stay where you are and play it safe .
Your other choice is to start running now. If you run in such and such direction, you may have a chance of escaping - since you could jump on a train and go to another country. Yes, you may see an enemy soldier or two on your way in the near distance, but you can duck and run by them. By using this method and going such and such a route, you will have a better chance of escaping. You will catch the enemy off-guard as you run by him.
Nimshal – We all know that the YH has gotten us (many times) before. Despite our best intentions – with closing ourselves off, staying “locked away” metaphorically, the YH has always found us. But, if we proactively find ways to distract ourselves – and watching sports is certainly one of those things (if you are into that) then go for it. And yes, of course, learning can be a priceless distraction too – ain hachi nami/absolutely. I am not certainly not disagreeing with that approach. What I am saying is that realistically none of us learn 100% of the time. And so the question is, for that downtime, what are we strategizing to do. You want to play chess, ok. You want to go for a jog, great. But sometimes you will want to relax and not do those things. For those times – and if you like it – I believe there is a place for watching sports games (and certain TV shows – although I agree some are racy and should be avoided. What I am trying to emphasize is that INSTEAD of being in front of the computer or phone with NOTHING PLANNED (which is when YH gets me) better to PLAN something to watch that is kosher. Sports Games are fine except for the two things you mentioned – which can be avoided. Watching with friends is even better – the social element. But if I just sit around and not (constantly) occupy ourselves with enjoyable things, I will ultimately lose because the YH can get to me to do MUCH WORSE things (even with a filter, etc.) if I am home alone - than if I would be watching a basketball game.
We are supposed to confront the YH with Tachbulos. This is counts as a strategy.
Overall, to me, at least this seems just as good better strategy than hiding away. Because I know that The YH will always come for me if I try to play it too safe.

Re: making friends once married 20 Mar 2014 22:28 #229040

As they say around here, "Whatever works for you".

I guess that's why this place is called Guard Your Eyes. You can only guard your own eyes, not your friend's. Cuz each set of eyes works differently.

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: making friends once married 21 Mar 2014 00:59 #229049

  • TehillimZugger
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Response mashal. If there's a way out of the village where there are no cheerleaders, why take the route where they're cheering?!




I wouldn't have responded. I'm in a weird mood today.
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: making friends once married 21 Mar 2014 19:57 #229079

  • gibbor120
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SG, no need to "advocate". Time and experience will tell if your calculation is correct.

Hatzlacha! Have a good Shabbos!
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