Hi

I want to introduce myself and get people's feedback for what steps they think I should be taking.

This problem started 18 months ago. I am 22. I am in my last year of university. I did have a different childhood (brother of special needs child). I have spoken with an amazing psychologist about my childhood and today, I know myself a lot better. I have not told the psychologist about my problem, but I will do that very soon. Whats been pushing me off is that I thought I can solve this on my own, but I have come to the realization that it will not happen like that.

I have to say its much more a m problem than a p problem. I do not have urges to look at p, but sometimes (10% of the time) I will look at it for the pleasure. I fall about every other day. The longest time clean is 15 days (I happened to be in a yeshiva for these 15 days so I would not allow myself to act out). I have recently joined GYE and I am 4 days clean now.

I would really like to hear what steps people think I should be taking. The more I analyze this issue, I relate it to my stress. Just now, I was doing a difficult assignment for class and I had this huge urge to act out. But the thought of restarting my 90 day count and telling my accountability group made me resist it.

Any suggestions on the steps I need to take? Do I need to be going to a SA meeting. Are the 12 steps necessary? I will speak to my psychologist but I would really like feedback.

Any chance anyone has learned the 48 ways by R' Noach weinberg? I have found it very helpful these past couple of days. Could that be a substitute for the 12 steps.

Anyone else in a similar situation to me?

Thank you for all your help

Welcome codyd18!!

You're certainly in the right place!!

All I can say is that the best thing would certainly be to talk to someone safe about it, and a therapist sounds like a safe bet!!

Have you read the handbook? there are great tools in there.

What have you been doing to stop (besides trying)? You wrote one trigger, and that's a big one for me, are there any other things that you notice? (looking at certain things etc.)

Whatever the case is, you've got 4 days, KOT!!! (keep on truckin')

Welcome to GYE!

We're looking forward to getting to know you better.

This may be a good place to start Welcome, New Members!

Hatzlacha!

skeptical, thank you for that link.

Pidaini, I currently do the following:
- chizuk emails
- filters
- 90 day chart
- group accountability
- torah learning
- psychologist

Anyone have a link to the 12 steps?

codyd18 - Welcome to the site. A basic intro to the steps follows:
guardyoureyes.com/the-12-steps

More power to you for trying to get a handle on this soon before it gets worse. As you browse around the site, you can see how dangerous this can become to ones emotional health.

Stress, and trying to escape those difficult emotions seem to be a common theme. Don't try to white knuckle it by just pushing. Working with a professional is a great step.

Keep up the great stuff!

How's it going cobyd18?

Hi Cobyd18,

We are in very similar situations. I am in my 4th year of university as well (i only graduate in december so its kinda my last year)

Also my problem mainly stems from masterbation not really porn, although if i have a chance, i will for sure go for it

Stress is probably my biggest problem and I would love to talk to you more about how i am trying to handling it. One thing i have learned (thanks skeptical) is that all my work (readings, assignments, exams) feels like a huge mountain that is impossible to reach the top of. But all i gotta do is take one step a time. One reading at a time.

Also as you also go to university am sure you have similar problems as i do in guarding your eyes against the thousands of very attractive girls.

Anyhow, message me i would love to talk!

Why don't you share more of your story with us?