but in the end i held off from ej********ing when i had chance to ...

Today I used whatsapp again and proceeded to m********.
I then deleted whatsapp ... thing is that I really use whatsapp to stay in touch with family and now that I deleted it (I have deleted it before tho)I might miss seeing things or miss a question someone might aks me -- but that's the "punishment" I must go thru, right?

hopefully this step will lead me in the right direction

.... I do have a question about when and how I can purify/misaken my eyes from what I have seen; my GYE friend said that I shud start by stopping and then go from there )

have a great day everyone

I wouldn't worry about purifyin' yet.

This is what I have been thinking about lately, maybe it will help you maybe it won't . I used to try and fix my life, now I try to fix myself, and my life is fixing itself.

That may not seem to be on point at all and it may not be. I'll say a little of what I'm thinking anyway, mainly because it will helps me. Lets say my problem with my life is stress, bills, friends, family etc and I'm always trying to fxx all those things, so I'm constantly running around putting out fires so to speak. So basically, I'm a Fireman or to be PC a Fire Fighter. Now, that's a stressful job. At the end of day of fighting fires, I just want to escape. That usually isn't good. What people have found is that instead of looking at solving life's problems, I'm better off looking at myself and trying to see what makes me tick. Talking to other people who have had similar experiences and can help me with tools and understanding. We will then find as we work on ourselves, the situation around us changes along with us. So I'm slowly not putting out fires anymore and the stress in my life is decreasing. At the end of the day, I often don't think about how I'm going to escape. I am more often thinking about how good life is and how I can make it better. Of course their are challenging days, but let me say where I am as compared to where I was a short time ago is a miracle and nothing less.

Anyways I realize that I'm really off topis here , but I hope you can find some chizuk from me as I know I have from you.

Great post. I feel exactly the same way!

strugglingguy wrote:


I am guessing that you will eventually reinstall whatsapp.

Nu. Someone on GYE is bound to come off saying I am a jerk for saying that. But I know your story from a while back, man, and just feel it is important for someone to say that.

I am also guessing that this step you took would really be a step in the right direction if you honestly and clearly explained why you deleted whatsapp to those who are affected by your absence and missing out of questions from them. The 'punishment' you describe is not punishment if all they think is that you are being a jerk. Maybe you already have admitted it to them, though...I don't know.

Hatzlocha either way, man!

my wife re installed it the other day (bec. she wanted to use it for a little bit) ... she knew why I uninstalled it. she told me that after she finished using it, I could uninstall.
i just uninstalled it.
I hear what u are saying about telling others (parents, siblings) why I can't have it right now, but am honestly not sure I am ready to tell them ... i'm being honest.
Anyway, IYH I will have a great day of doing schoolwork and learning.
Have a good day everyone.

I dont think Dov meant that you should tell tem that you looked at porn. Rather, explain that from what you've heard and seen, there can be highly inappropriate content on whatsapp and you want to block it. Be vague, but they'll respect you for it.

I feel like my wife can't relate at all to my addictions. I stop drinking, she says "nu, see, your not an alcoholic". I abstain from self gratification for 30 days, she says "you want Chinese for dinner?" Haven't gambled in 8 months, it's about time you gave that up, you know your a compulsive gambler. Even when she says it "your a compulsive ....." it's like yea of course you gave that up, why not sooner? And that's why a wife or other regular people no matter what they tell me or threaten me with or what mussar they give me, has zero effect on me. I need another addict to say hey I feel your pain, we are in this together ...

Hatslacha

I feel your pain.....

Bottom line, we need to recover, for we need to recover.
I can bitch about my wife from now till the next Yovel, but it ain't gonna do me anythin'.
Should they be more understandin'? Maybe. But what you gonna do about it?

you gave up gamblin', eatin', and drinkin'!?
My goodness!

You are a saint!
My vice was never drinkin', but I still got the other three.

b'hatzlachah

oh...and again, I feel your pain.

Im so sorry for not being empathetic earlier! You're right that in this struggle, only someone who also struggles with it can truly understand what you're going through. We've all had our falls and our triumphs. In life, its a complicated balance between the two. But we're all here for you and your pain is our pain. This is truly a place where you can speak your mind and know that there are people who have been in similar situations and know exactly what you're going through and will always be there to support you. You can do it! We're in this together!

We are in this together when we are honest and open with each other.
I will not steal Dov's line about hidin' behind a username, but ...

The rest got deleted. Sorry.

b'hatzlachah

I'm not complaining about my wife. She is an incredible person and I am lucky to be married to her. I was empathizing with the author or this post and offering some thoughts as to why his wife would reinstall whatsapp ...

The statement I feel your pain isn't necessary, it's inherent that addicts relate to each others struggle. Not sure what you mean by giving up eating. And, I am far from a saint.

Somethin' about eatin' Chinese.

Hi Chevra
Not sure what that was all about something about Chinese?
BH I ma having a good day today - reading articles about the Kedoshim, listening to a shiur, eating, chilling BH all is good.
BTW my wife re installed whatsapp on MY phone, simply bec. her phone was out of battery and we were at a wedding waiting a long time for our food and she was bored. Since whatsapp is the only real app on my phone these days BH she wanted to install is back on mine to post a picture of the evening. (end of story - prime rib came - it was pretty good)
she said - u can delete it tonight and i have...