hatzlocha with your move.

I've never been a woman (the clothes are incredibly uncomfortable...especially the shoes, the shoes, oy...), and certainly not a married one. But it seems to me that it'd be pretty rough for a wife of a secretly porn-using and masturbating frum man(!!), who is having her period now and may be bleeding heavily and uncomfortably (!!!), and who is about to move out of state(!!!), is entitled to be 'difficult' to live with.

For G-d's sake, man, even if you are a selfish pig like I am, could you please just cut her a side-of-beef-size chunk of slack, here?! Instead of the f-ing around thinking about whether we are tzaddikim or resho'im (and who the hell cares? Does G-d even care what we are right now? NO! He clearly does not and i can prove He cares far more about what we are doing about it than what we 'are') how next to entertain ourselves with porn or not or even about our self-centered struggle with 'the evil porn monster'...instead of those...how about praying for her for real with real simple words (a lot) and making yourself your wife's best friend in the whole world right now so that she can get through this well without any regard for yourself and your 'needs', for a change?

I know you are a great guy, man. A decent husband in many ways. But she is your wife till you die, your only wife. You will never have another one and she needs you so eternally, so badly. Now.

Struggling with lust - even if you win - is diametrically the opposite of growing up, sometimes.

Just consider it, chaver.

Long time no speak everyone.

Happy Chanukah

I'm working hard at my shul program director job ... sort of - lots of emailing. When I work from home and/or home for lunch, bad things happen. My phone is 1 minute away from p***

I am the epitome of instant gratification - that is my problem. how do i fix it? maybe some mussar.

I used to learn more - I still do, but only a little bit. how can I get back to that?

i want it, but i don't want it - i guess i am an addict.

i have things I can do ... i will write more later

I looked at p today and masterbated.
while it took away from other things, I can do - I do not have a 9 - 5 job where the p-watching would totally mess me up.
i guess i am addicted; now i am averaging looking at p once a week
i have an impulsivity problem, as well, which has a lot to do with this issue, obviously.
i knew i should not have yichud with my phone at home - but i do anyway.
my plan now is to write to a friend and a rebbi and let them know what is going on with me.
gotta go, will talk again soon

strugglingguy wrote:


That's a good plan.

B'hatzlachah

Why don't you get a filter for your phone? Even if that doesn't solve the problem, having instant easy access to porn is a big problem.

aryehdovid85 wrote:


There is a new recording by "Henoch", a talk he gave about a month ago. riveting.

thanks everyone.

filter - i do have a filter on my browser. but there is an app on the iPhone "that allows me to access - without being tracked. and i cannot get rid of it. (don't mean to give anyone secrets, i am just being honest). yes sometimes it takes a while to access the P*** but as we all know - when you are in the moment you will do whatever it takes.

so that's the issue...

I apologize, but this seems pretty silly to me. You've been saying that certain apps have been your downfall for quite some time. There are any number of filters that can block apps for you. Block the problematic app, block the app store. Why are you holding back?

I agree with Moish, just block the app store.

strugglingguy wrote:


There's totally a way to protect from that. Everyone knows that trick- definitely the people at TAG are well aware of it.

What you do is set Safari on white list, or at the worst set it at youth level, and then also restrict safari and give your wife the password and use the covenant eyes browser.

That way, anything you use will be through the covenant eyes browser and any browsing accessed through the apps will be restricted as it goes through safari. Would be happy to discuss with you if you want and explain more clearly; if you want you can send me a private message.

hi
i just slipped and read a p story
but then turned off my phone before it went further

victory?

im think of deleting all web access on my phone for a day and see how that goes

Brave step. Should be with mazal.

That's definitely a step in the right direction, however it doesn't necessarily fix the problem.

I also fell today (I'm posting it here due to the lack of a proper place to come clean)after18 days, i can put the blame on a tough situation which i was put into. But I'm NOT. It's abundantly clear to me had i not been an addict i wouldn't fall even in such a situation.

mggsbms wrote:
So, instead you're placing the blame on the fact that you're an addict?