Thanks guys. Bli Ayin Hara - I have had some good days this weel. A couple times I was set on looking at stuff and it did not happen.

i watched for 2 hours today - wife was out of house all day.
started with my phone - using an app to get to twitter
then i used my non filtered browser on my tablet.
most i have watched in a while.
i would be hypocrite to say now - i have to stop, etc. - bec. then i should have just stopped.
i am powerless when my yetzer/lust tempts me .. that i know.
if i would have gone to devaluing this could have been avoided - a nice first step anyway.
nothing else to do now - will daven...

anyone know how to delete a) google search from an asus tablet and b) weather app from iPhone?

installed quostdio on my tablet - will try to get on phone also

Sounds like a good start. Keep it up.

Bigmoish wrote:


Yep; and it was good that you reached out in all different ways.

had my phone last night in bathroom and knew i should not take to bed but i did anyway. looked at stuff and then m*D.
unfortunately, i did it on the CE browser and didn't care about my one friend that still gets the reports.
... so today i asked two more ppl - a closer friend and the Rav of my shul if I can add them to the report list
i also asked my friend to remind me to keep phone away when i go to sleep ...

i also struggle with being involved with a shul where i obviously see a few young women.
( I dont mean to trigger anyone here - just putting it out there for myself)
obviously it is a nisayon as u can imagine ... i guess i should try to daven for them (like Dov says) instead of treating them like objects
only thing is it's harder than dov's examples 'cuz I dont even care abt the shiksa in the street - this situation is a little diff. ...
kul tuv everyone - off to the west coast for a couple days w my wife ...

just to add two things - young women in shul
I am an intern at the shul so i I'm there pretty often, see the same people, and try to (am supposed to even) interact w everyone. it's not like i can just run home.

shiksa's - I don't care = i even look away from the peurto rico lady on the street - i am not attracted by that ...

This might be an overly obvious question, but one of the foundations of the recovery process is letting go and letting G-d take control. How are you doing in that area?

yes most definitely let go and let G-d !! Prayer is a critical tool for recovery!

i knew I would fall before i did ... i watched, read and acted out my fantasys for the past hour.

of course i come running here afterwards. i'm confused. im scared. im indifferent. many different thoughts right now....

Thanks for sharing.

But you're here! That matters, a lot. You're starting over. You have a finite amount of mental and physical energy. That energy could either be spent on regret and self-pity, or self-work for the here and now. I would choose the latter.

Right on TalmidChaim!

Every time you've made some progress by accumulating days you are making it easier to achieve on your next climb.

Eventually you will get into the groove and succeeding on a daily basis will be less challenging than it is now.

two nights ago I was alone in a hotel room. Without going into details I had to go on the trip and any other kind of arrangement was virtually impossible. I was worried how it would pan out.

Thankfully, I did not even open the TV.

Not that long ago I would never had believed it.

Chasdei Hashem Kee Lo Samnu!