How deep fear runs, that I should be afraid at the prospect of being alone in my home, like a little child afraid of the dark. Sometimes I think I need to simply steep in that fear, let it fill me, without judging it, while simultaneously simply knowing that I will not give into it. And the fear, I believe, is really about something deeper, not the pornography. The fear, I can vaguely sense, is about my willingness or unwillingness to deeply engage the deeper levels of myself. Perhaps this sounds like new-age gobblygoop. But I wonder if anyone else has had a similar feeling?
