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I need reinforcement ! ! ! !

I feel pretty sad and mood-less today.
One of my close friends here have taken a crash here, after holding clean for quite a few weeks, and after trying very very Hard.
He just informed me with the news, and of course that I gave him a tons of reinforcement and chizik to start again, and together we tried to find what was the trigger and the reason for him to act out like the Gemura say לאו עכברא גנב אלא חורא גנב, and we both took upon ourselves a new thing and Kabala from now on.
but lemaase im extremely down for 2 reasons:

First, and the main pain is because I feel so so bad for him that I cant even tell u ppl, he tried nebech so so hard, did so much things, he went to groups, phone conferences, and added on filters, and i mamesh cry for him. (i hope he will get back to himself quick) he is a real pity he is really torn apart.

2nd reason is , it is a very hard feeling to ride together with a group of friends climbing up from a deep cliff after being there for years, and finally when a ladder was put in to climb up, and we are starting to climb up together the holy ladder to hashem, and to turn around while climbing and seeing that my friend who we started together for a few weeks and he fell back down, then after 2 weeks another partner also fell, this hurts very very much.
don't get be wrong. b"h we are b"h continuing, but it makes me in a sad mood.
and he asks me for advice, what should i tell him, i have no idea, im not professional, i need chizik myself, what should i do???????????

Pick up the ladder, smile , and start climbing again. Don't look down, just look up.

i told him that he didnt fell back to square 1, its called a fall not a crash. and lemaase he should look that he can be clean for a few weeks, when last year he couldn't hold it up more them few days.

ddmm11219 wrote:


Git gezugt!

I saw from R' Avigdor Miller zt"l, how to stop smoking. If you smoke 10 cigs a day, make a vow that today you will only smoke 9, and if you smoke 10 you will pay a knas. Tomorrow make a vow you will only smoke 8 and if you smoke 9 you pay a knas. And so on.

The point is, as the posuk says: מעט מעט אגרשנו - לא תוכל כלותו מהר
Or as we say in English: Progress, not perfection.

Hatzlacha

MT

Thr seforim write about the whole parsha of yetsias Mitzraim. Hashem sends moshe at first-Things seem great! LO and behold, the situation gets worse. So much so that Moshe rabeneinu - the av hanviim - asks hashem lomo hareioso.
Things look up afer every plague, but then it seems like its not working. This repeats itself over and over and over again.
They finally leave mitzrayim - thinks are looking very good,
Theres mitzraym chasing them. How disappointing and shocking it seems.
Hashem helps them, it looks good, and then it looks like nachshon and all of them will end up drowning. After all the miracles, it looks like its all over!

The sea splits,(can we imagine that?)
right behind them are the egyptians, as if they havent accomplished anything at all.

They cross the sea, amalek attacks. etc etc.

What is the point of seemingly going in cycles up and down endlessly and exhaustively ?Why Why Why?

Hashem is teaching us- this is the road of avodas hashem- up and down, down and up. Its not supposed to be ANY OTHER WAY. This is holy will and we absorb this on a daily basis until it becomes our essence. Ive personally merited to find this out after many years of struggling and I cannot begin to describe how this has changed the whole game for me. Its incomparable. Even after a fall god forbid, its just not the same. The old feelings of failure etc. are almost extinct. This is the essence of pnimius hatorah, which is the tool in our arsenal that hashem gave us towards the end of our exile.

just hung up the phone with him
i spoke to him now over a half hour.
i told him
that only 1 fall in 7 weeks is positive news for the 1 who are struggling, not a reason to be מיואש, remember we are human begins not maluchim, Hashem knows our struggle.
We are not loosing the game with a fall but with quitting
התכלית היא ההתגברות ולא ההשלמה
שבע יפול צדיק וקם
that its pure maase yetzer to get lost and carried away

bh he is better now
i asked him to come back here on gye more often

Thats great, it seems that one of the main ideas to accept and internalize in this struggle is its not something that goes away but is something that will always be a presence in our lives and to embrace that the best we can and to live each day as a new challenge, there is no such thing as climbing together until we reach the peak of mount tahor and we can now look down together and move on, this is our "Avoda". Some people talk about how H-shem wanted us to have this nisayon - that I can't fully embrace as our choices have led us here, but either way, however we got here, our avoda is to be great today. I just saw a quote from a famous football player that gave me chizzuk "TOMORROW'S NOT PROMISED. WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE FOR TODAY?" - he is talking about giving your all to be great in todays game, but for us its ashreinu mah tov chelkeinu that in every moment of life we have the opportunity to make good decisions, and if we don't, we have the next moment, hour, day, week to try to be "great".
I am still davening for you almost every day as well as for everyone in our special kehila, may we continue to support and love each other through our struggles and our growth!!