after a day or two when i dont mas******e the yetzher hara makes me depressed and i feel like life is not worth living without p*rn and he makes me think like this for hours upon hours until i give up and give in

what can i do to control myself

please someone save me

Hello Tzadik,

Welcome to this gr8 LIFESAVER 

This is the place that will Help pull you away from this terrible disease. You must understand that you are NOT alone , all of us here are fighting similar battles just as you are.

Check out the handbooks on the homepage, download them and or print them out...

Chazal say "dont trust yourself until the day you die" ,that message is extremly clear on this website.

Daven to Hashem and he Will send help.
Keep posting , we are here with U!

Much Love

Bestrong88

Welcome!

Please tell us more about yourself. 

Remember that, once you get past the acute detox stage, it should get more manageable.  It gets even easier when you've been sober for longer periods of time.  Just remember to work one day at a time, and to keep building upon your successes.

needmajorhelp wrote on 12 Oct 2009 01:31:


Welcome to the family NMH Needmajorhelp No More Hopelessness

For all its worth,just know that what you are going through is 100% normal. Everyone here can relate to you and they are all moving forward, each at their own pace. You are far from lost and b'ezras Hashem - literally - will heal.

We are all in this together, and the unity is a large part of the fight.

Hello NMH,
    Welcome to our group and I have to say you have come to the right place. I fully understand how your feeling as I still feel the same way manytimes. Just last night I had a very easy opportunity to look at p**n, my wife went to bed early and suddenly thoughts of looking at the internet and p**n flooded my mind. I just froze, everything in me was telling me to go and look at p**n, my yetzer says to me what harm could it do? Your going clean forever? Go on you know you really want to look, you'll stop another time.....

Thankfully my thoughts also turned to this website Guard your eyes, how I know that I will lose my place on the 90 day chart, how I have come so far with the help of everyone on this site and that I will let myself down. This gave me strength to force myself to go to bed and stay there, even if I couldn't sleep for an hour thinking about p**n....I wouldn't budge B'H', but it was close.

Depression and p**n are intimately connected, realise that you are a very holy person, just the fact that you made the effort to come onto this site and publish a call for help means you are very holy and have already made a huge step in breaking your yetzer. It may take a long time, it may also take many more falls but as long as you stay in the fight and don't accept that you will always need p**n, that one day you can remove yourself from it, then you can win. I wish you much strength my friend and I highly recommend the 90 day chart, it is such a help!
Noson

needmajorhelp wrote on 12 Oct 2009 01:31:



Your user name speaks volumes of wisdom.
You are aware that this fight is bigger than you.
You (we all) have tried fighting it with every once of strength that we have,only to fall time and time again.
This is not something that we can fight on our own.
We have all found that out the hard way.
When someone cannot control something he does that is called:addiction
What we need to do is stop battling this addiction as we do other things and try to find a new approach that will work for us for this unique struggle.
Most of us find that we have to go through changes in our self and become different people for whom this addiction doesn't apply to anymore.

You are standing at a crossroads right now,and pretty much all roads are open.Read through the site,and see what you find to be helpful.

Depression is also a very big killer in this struggle.Have you seen this thread?
rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1065.0

Welcome to our family

Dear NMH,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

The terrible "void" that you feel when stopping, is typical withdrawal symptoms. Rabbi Twerski addresses this void in answering a member of our forum (who is now clean for over a year). Please read through this page and this page, from top to bottom, when you have a chance.

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

welcome need and lots o luck,

youve got to sacrifice yourself for a few days...come to terms early that you will suffer for a little bit because this fight cannot begin while the shackles of this addiction have you bound and gagged on the floor...so suffer...and know that once youve gotten some ground underneath you, you will be out of the matrix and you will see a different world, one where you CAN live and can ONLY live without pr0n...and keep coming back here...the more you come the better your vision becomes...

keep fighting
ratm

We all felt like that at some point. The YH focuses on the moment. He makes us feel that now is forever. Guess what, it not. Tell him to wait 15 minutes. Remember that all feelings will pass. Hang in there. We know what it is like. We all have ups and downs.