Hi everyone,

I've been struggling for many years now to stop being motzi zera lebatalah, and have slowly but steadily pushed my yetzer away from getting me in most situations. I'm 20 now and have made it to the point where I can get through the day or week without falling, and then going to sleep. But, inevitably I will have a night when I wake up in middle of the night and just can't go to sleep unless I 'fall'. I couldn't believe that the yetzer hara could do that to me. What am I supposed to do? No matter how well I get through the day, or week, or weeks, there will be a night where I wake up and can't fall back asleep. I've lasted a maximum of 2 hours awake like that, and it isn't simply a matter of waiting to fall asleep. I've tried listening to music to get to to fall asleep, even zquil, but nothing worked.

Any ideas?

Welcome! Why not post on or read the forum? I'm sorry I don't have any great ideas. Hopefully someone else will chime in soon. It's nice to have you with us.

I would also stay up a couple hours before going to sleep with lust thoughts. Other times I would wake up at 3am and wouldn't be able to go to sleep for another couple hours. One method I found helpful is if you can't go to sleep watch some TV for a bit or videos from a website that you know wouldn't trigger you. Personally, I like to watch documentaries as it is a pretty safe regarding sexually explicit content. Just make sure you find the right kind documentary without violence or something else that might upset you. Try to keep your mind occupied on something else. Some music I like to listen to is classical or new age if that is something your interested in. I wouldn't rely on zquil to help as drugs only temporarily relieve you. I remember a rabbi told me that Rambam said only to use drugs when absolutely necessary. Hope this helps and remember you are not alone!

I hear what you're saying, but how long do you think that will last me? I don't think I can really just stay up so late on a regular night hoping to fall asleep. You think that the only way is to wait it out even though I lose out on sleep?

Thanks again for the help, I appreciate it.

Of course this method doesn't always work. Right now as I am typing I should have already been asleep! All I can say that is that it can help. At my old college, I went to an anxiety therapist and told them I had trouble sleeping. They said the best thing to do it keep getting out of bed (for at least 10 minutes) then trying to sleep again. By getting up, they said your brain stops thinking about your obsessive thoughts and thinks of something else. After getting in and out of bed a number of times, I'm sure you'll surrender to sleep. However, after REALLY trying for a number of days and this method doesn't help at all go and talk to your local doctor. You don't have to tell him about all of your demons but just say "I think about sex more often than normal and keeps me up at night" and he'll think of proper steps to take. It will be uncomfortable no doubt but you don't want sleep effecting your day-to-day functioning. I already went to my doctor to discuss my anxiety and OCD problems and have been referred to anxiety rehabilitation clinic for help with my recovery. I feel better just knowing there is treatment centers in my area that can help.

Alright, I'll give it a shot and let you know how it goes.