I lsot my wife last year she was niftar and I have issues with the nisyan of masturbating I ned advice while I don't have a wife

I'm so sorry to hear that, Hashem should give you everything you need very soon.

In terms of masturbating, the GYE handbook and the chizzuk emails are the places to start, and posting more about yourself here can help a lot too.

Hatzlocho rabo, may Hashem shower you with good things.

Amen!

So good that you are reaching out, chaver!

If there is a safe and caring man you can open up to fully, maybe near your age and situation so you can respect his opinion. It will surely help you a great deal more than just posting here.

Posting here is a tremendous and beautiful start, though.

Please find real people you will open up to about this and the pain of it all, including your masturbation, chaver.

One more thing:

Were you struggling with masturbating while you were married, as well?

Thanks for your patience with us here. I hope you can open up here, at least...

- Dov

You are in the good place to have help !

Please post a little more about yourself that we know how can we help you.
The chizzuk emails are very important ! It's your daily dose to know how to fight against lust, and how to progress into kedusha, step by step.

And read more in the GYE about the program and the 12 steps.

May Hachem helps you and gives you lot of tov.

yesduring the last year

ok...this is not much information u r giving here, so please forgive the many questions, but i have a few simple queries that will make the situation much more clear before giving advice or sharing experience that is relevant. Your answers are too short and not explainign enough yet. But first:

Your answers to these questions here on an open forum that anyone can read, may give away your identity. So if you do want to answer these questions but see that the answers may tell some people who you are, then please just answer me by email at wequithiding@gmail.com
And if you should feel it is insensitive for me to ask these questions of you, please do not answer them and forgive me. You should understand that I am only doing this because you came forward and asked for help.

Here they are:

1- How long were you married? (For if it was only 1 or 2 years, that is different than 10 or 20 or more.)

3- was there sex trouble between you when the marriage was well in the years before you started masturbating that you fgelt led you to wish you were masturbating or using porn?

4- Was she ill during the last year (the time during which you were masturbating) or otherwise sexually unavailable to you?

5- And just to clarify again, for you did not answer: Did you have any porn or masturbation habit during your years as a bochur before you were married?

Now, please do not imply anything from my questions about 'where i am leading' with all this. If you do, you will mislead yourself. Trust me, it's not as it seems and I ask you to keep an open mind.

Thanks and continued hatzlocha and nechoma!