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Just about hanging in there....
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TOPIC: Just about hanging in there.... 622 Views

Just about hanging in there.... 24 Oct 2013 15:38 #221784

  • needshelp22
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Hey,
I just fell again after 3 days sober, i cannot seem to go more than two weeks maximum. This has been going on for months and I cannot take it anymore! I've tried everything and nothing works. Please i need some chizuk/advice/help anything! How can i break free once and for all
Thnks

Re: Just about hanging in there.... 24 Oct 2013 17:48 #221798

  • Pidaini
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Howdy, and I haven't welcomed you yet, so Welcome!!!

First thing is that there are many who have been in your situation and have gotten out, take a deep breath you'll be fine.

What have you tried?

When I first came on, AlexEliezer asked me "how's your shemiras einayim" I answered that I don't think that makes me fall. He then so kindly pointed out that my problem is much larger than porn, my problem is triggers, lust, very tiny things that all add up.

Have you tried everything to stay away from all triggers?

One prerequisite is identifying those triggers, do you know them yet?

Stick around, don't be a stranger, and KOP (keep on posting)!!!!

and forever KOT!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
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Re: Just about hanging in there.... 24 Oct 2013 18:04 #221800

  • ddmm11219
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Pidaini wrote:

Have you tried everything to stay away from all triggers?

Agree with every single word, triggers are my main issue. so i need i need and must stay away from it.
same way if i was told that if i stand next to a smoker i would get terrible breathing attacks, i would stay away of all smoking areas, same story here. i know 1st thing 1st i need to stay away from triggers,
from there i know i need to take it easy as 1 day at a time.
im sure for sure that the actual move that u came on here is a major step for you, and a good beginning, and we are all here to help u with anything its in our hands, and just keep and build the willing stronger.
התיצבו וראו את ישועת ה'. כי קל מלך רופא נאמן אתה
...וְאִם גַּם אֶתְאַמֵּץ בְּעֵצוֹת וְתַחְבֻּלוֹת וְכָל יוֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל יַעַמְדוּ לִימִינִי לְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְלִתְמֹךְ נַפְשִׁי, מִבַּלְעֲדֵי עֻזְּךָ וְעֶזְרָתְךָ אֵין עֶזְרָה וִישׁוּעָה...‬

מתוך תפילה נפלאה שחיבר הרה"ק רבי מאיר מאפטא זצוק"ל, בעל מחבר ספר "אור לשמים", ונדפסה בתחילת ספרו.
Last Edit: 24 Oct 2013 18:05 by ddmm11219.

Re: Just about hanging in there.... 25 Oct 2013 19:20 #221890

Yes. Whether we are actual addicts or not, we have trained ourselves to get turned on by various sights and thoughts. The good news is that we can train ourselves to avoid such triggers. At first it is hard, but eventually it becomes second nature to bounce away from triggering sights and thoughts. And when we finally feel the freedom of living normally without the insanity, that good feeling will help reinforce our new habits even more.

That's my experience. Hope it works for others as well.

MT

Re: Just about hanging in there.... 25 Oct 2013 20:53 #221908

  • gibbor120
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Hi NH22! I know what it's like, not being able to get past 2 weeks.

Have you read the handbook? What tools have you tried? Have you told anyone about your problem?

Re: Just about hanging in there.... 27 Oct 2013 05:13 #221973

  • cordnoy
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Welcome aboard!
We have all been through that struggle, and some of us are still there constantly.
the more triggers you avoid, the better off you are.

KOP (keep on posting)
KOT

b'hatzlachah
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Re: Just about hanging in there.... 28 Oct 2013 23:35 #222142

  • needshelp22
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Thanks everyone really helped.
b"H am on day 5 and doing well

Re: Just about hanging in there.... 28 Oct 2013 23:46 #222143

  • ddmm11219
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thanks for the update
keep us posted please
...וְאִם גַּם אֶתְאַמֵּץ בְּעֵצוֹת וְתַחְבֻּלוֹת וְכָל יוֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל יַעַמְדוּ לִימִינִי לְהוֹשִׁיעֵנִי וְלִתְמֹךְ נַפְשִׁי, מִבַּלְעֲדֵי עֻזְּךָ וְעֶזְרָתְךָ אֵין עֶזְרָה וִישׁוּעָה...‬

מתוך תפילה נפלאה שחיבר הרה"ק רבי מאיר מאפטא זצוק"ל, בעל מחבר ספר "אור לשמים", ונדפסה בתחילת ספרו.

Re: Just about hanging in there.... 29 Oct 2013 02:44 #222173

  • chesky
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needshelp22 wrote:
Thanks everyone really helped.
b"H am on day 5 and doing well

Hi and thank you for sharing,

I am happy for you that you are feeling good.

just a word of caution from my experience (which I learnt the hard way); feeling that I was "doing well" was and is always a prerequisite to a fall.

Today for me, sobriety is a gift, something i cannot take for granted. As long as i remember that, it is possible for me to remain sober and sane one day at a time.

If I start feeling good about my sobriety, then sooner or later I will trip over myself.

I am just sharing with you my own experience. It may or may not be the case with you.

May HaShem grant us a sober and sane day.
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