For the past few years I have been engaging in m. about twice a week. I also had a stack of magazines/videos which I recently threw away. When I was visiting a Reform Jewish therapist, he told me that there is nothing wrong with what I do.

Given that I am single, I do not know what problems did my behavior produce in this life. There are no immediate repercussions.

Recently I have learned some spiritual effects of my sin and have stayed clean since Oct 1. How can I keep my motivation for change?

Have you signed up for the chizzuk emails, the 90 day chart, read the handbooks, it's all good stuff and it really does help. בהצלחה

I have read some of the booklets. I understand that my sins are very severe, but I do not struggle with immediate problems.

I am not sure I am really addicted. Do I need help?

R76 - From your posts it sounds like you have been working hard to deal with a number of challenges. Kudos to you for a great start throwing out all the junk.

Whether your are addicted or not, does not seem as important. The question as I see it is whether you want to stop and why. (If you threw out all that stuff sounds like you want to stop which is great!)

Put religion aside - Do you think your would feel better connecting to real people rather than that fake world?

>> Do you think your would feel better connecting to real people
>> rather than that fake world?

Thank you. I have no share in this world. I have no prospect for a job and no friends. I hate Mathematics in which I have PhD, and I am not sure I want to get a job. I have suffered enormous depression for very many years.

I hope I can have enough Emuna not to give up my share in the next world.
Theoretically, 84% of Jews believe in G-d but only 15% have enough Emuna to perform most Mitzvot.

R76 - I feel for you. Sounds like you are in a tough spot. I would say this forum is filled with many people who would really want to help, but I speculate that it is not the same as people you can see, a job etc.

A theme on this site is that for people suffering, fear of one's lot in the next world, is often not enough to inspire change. I'm not saying you can't try, but it might be more effective to think about how you might feel better both in this world and the next.

Now, it sounds like you have tried that, but don't feel you can be successful in this world? It would be great to collectivity brainstorm what you might be able to do to feel a bit better about your prospects.

[quote="R76" post=220968I hope I can have enough Emuna not to give up my share in the next world.
Theoretically, 84% of Jews believe in G-d but only 15% have enough Emuna to perform most Mitzvot.[/quote]

I gave you a link in another of your threads to a free download that would do wonders to strengthen your emunah.

>> I gave you a link in another of your threads to a free download that
>> would do wonders to strengthen your emunah.

Thank you. Very interesting audio -- especially about Russian history.

>> A theme on this site is that for people suffering, fear of one's lot
>> in the next world, is often not enough to inspire change.

There are many sinners in this world who do not suffer here. Most Reform and Conservative rabbis condone many sexual and non -- sexual sins. And yet these rabbis make $200k -- $300k per year. Paul Tibbets lived a long and happy life. Emperor Hadrian was successful in life.

Thank G-d I did not succeed in this life -- so that I can concentrate on the future life. Are there any Jewish forums/support groups for general crisis/depression?

R76 - I hear you. Their lives certainly look fulfilling and happy.

As hard as it may sound - I would say try not to give up on this world either. Your thinking down the right path to try to get help. Stay strong buddy and keep us posted.

Thank you very much. Are there any Jewish resources for depression/crisis in general?

Having been "sober" for 13 days it seems easy. If I can keep motivation.

That is AWESOME! Hopefully, there is a great feeling that comes with it, which helps encourage you to keep in going. Success breeds success.

Day 16.

R76 wrote:


Making Jewish friends?