115 days clean

last 2 weeks sliding (but not struggling with it....sadly)

fell

still not feeling guilt

im sure that will come; although the smart people have already told me that i shouldn't let it occupy my mind

we shall see

need actions...positive ones obviously to ensure that this doesn't happen again

you will ask me: what are you going to do different now to avoid this from happening again?

Good question

thanks

have some thoughts about intimacy with wife (or lack thereof) and how this connects; will write more when it becomes clearer

will also try to keep that part in this section and not the b"b...depending on where the thread goes.

Thank you all

115 days is KeTO [kuf tes vav]

Keep Trucking Onwards [What the gehennom is rebound anyway?]

What does "fell" mean?

Regarding not feeling guilty, I think we've trained ourselves to turn off our guilt about this. If I act out I may feel empty, duped, immature, stupid, perverted, disconnected, unhappy, unfulfilled, lonely. But not guilty.

I may feel guilty about the lie that I'm living.
I may feel like I'm a phony, that I don't deserve to be counted as part of a frum community. So many things. But not guilt.

Congratulations on your spectacular start here.
Yasher koach for stepping up and admitting whatever it is that you've done.

Fresh start

i do think i have to spell out what "fell" means, but I'm not sure that here is the proper forum.

According to 90 days rules, I fell many times in the last two weeks.

Keep
On
Tanking!

UR doing great. Dont let one fall get you down about the whole thing.

Spelling out what "fell" means takes it out of hiding and makes it real.

If you're not comfortable spelling it out here, at least confide in someone you are comfortable with.

AlexEliezer wrote:


Yeah, I would love to hear! Did it involve chasing a purple haired bear through the alleyways of meah shearim?