Perhaps try closin' 'em all at once....there is no motto of "one loophole at a time." That seems to be a recipe for disaster.
For me, the loophole was in my brain...that was what needed closin'.

Therapist, SA, and a specialist helped me understand that one...especially SA.

b'hatzlachah

Pidaini wrote:
It's a profession that an addict cannot afford to have. Don't find em, don't fix em. Leave that to someone else.

So here's my question on closing the loopholes. I have WebChaver so that monitors all of my internet traffic. But what about a program like iBooks on Apple devices? Is there a program that monitors what I download there?
I know too well unfortunately of the tuma'ah available there.

Do you need ibooks? Figure out what you really need. If you don't need it - get rid of it. It's not worth the trouble.

Almost one week (Bli Ayin Hora)!
Erev Rosh Hashana I said NO! and I'm still going strong!
I think it was my guilty conscience (and a good part of my Neshama) that gave me the jumpstart--I can't act out right before Yom HaDin, I need to show HKB"H that I am trying. Let's hope this is it and I can make it to 90 and break free!

A Gmar Chasima Tova to all, let this be a year of Mazal, Bracha, and Hatzlocha and may we all IY"H meet our goals and break free of addiction!

Amen and hatzlacha raba!!

troubledbochur wrote:


We can hope for you; you need to take action (and davenin' could be action'...if it works for you).

b'hatzlachah

I'm turning over a new leaf.
Es Chatosai Ani Mazkir Hayom

I had a fall today, on my one week clean date. You can't trust yourself. I told myself, "You've never gotten this far, you'll never break this, see how far you've come!" and "It's the Aseres Yimei Teshuva, Hashem is watching!".
Didn't help.

Don't Trust Yourself

But it's okay.
Am I mad at myself? Furious. But I am not punishing myself.

There is a very fine line between being upset with yourself and punishing yourself. Never punish yourself for your action--it is what the Yetzer Hora wants. But then again, don't just get up and say better luck next time. You fell and you should be upset, but there is a next time.

From what I have learned: As far as pornography goes, filter your computer to no end. Have everything, and I mean everything sent to someone who will take the time to look it over. I use WebChaver, if you can afford it, great. If not, ask them-there is a fund for giving licenses to those who cannot afford it.
Unfortunately, we do not have the Beis HaMikdash so we cannot bring Korbanos for our actions but that doesn't mean we can't make sacrifices. I acted out while watching inappropriate things on a tablet computer I had. Had. I returned it. Fell to many times on its account.

As far as acting out goes, I haven't mastered this yet, unfortunately. The Rosh Hashanah high gave me a jumpstart which I took advantage of...a little to much. As a fellow GYE member told me-don't look at accomplishments, keep going. There is a long fight ahead.
You can still fall on day 89.

Today, I ate Pas Yisroel to say "Hashem look at my effort". He saw my effort. Especially when I fought the urge to act out throughout the day. And He saw me fall. And now He sees me writing this post, not giving up, trying again.

Today is day one.

May HKB"H give me the strength and Siyatta Dishamaya to fight the urge to look at inappropriate things and act out on them. May this be the start of many clean days one day at a time. If HKB"H gives me the strength, and I use it, and Daven to Him with all my might, there will be very strong emotions in me when I light Chanukah Lecht...

Hopefully a clean, Kosher, Yid.

[PS: If anyone wants to partner up with me, we can exchange SMS text messages in times of crisis, private message me.]

Gmar Chasima Tova.

Sorry to hear about the fall.
Nice to see that you dusted yourself off and hoppin' back on da truck.
What is your plan now please?
why are you so focused on day 89 and 90?
Even so, again, how d'ya' plan on gettin' there?
What will you be doin' different now that say a month ago?
Your attitude is nice, so keep that up.

b'hatzlachah

Very nice! Great work on hoping back on the wagon. But now let's STAY on the bandwagon. And you must cut the baloni. Ask yourself if this happens every time: you fall then say I'm getting up then fall agin. It's endless cycle. What will it take to actually start growing???? You shouldn't fight nor should you attempt to master anything.

For your sake: what is your plan???? Shkoyach: one day at a time but what does that mean??? What does one day at a time mean to you?

My email is Dms1234ongye@gmail.com

I think you have the right mindset here, which is so important. Taking it one day at a time makes things bearable. But for long term, it may help to sit down and write out what feelings and thoughts you were having before, and after your fall. Then you can focus on ways to be better prepared for when nisyonos hit. Hatzlacha raba! You're on the right track, and you can do it!! KOMT!!!

A big thing i gained here on GYE was figuring out what the underpinnings that were causing me to fall and work on them. The guys were a big help to figure out what the issues were for me and to help me find the right ways to deal with it.
So like ShomerBro said you gotta take a step back and see what it was that caused you to get to the point of no return. Once the porn is opened that is usually too late to stop but there was a point that you made your first click. what was it? why did you click?

As cordnoy mentioned before, filters are not a fix. It's very simple actually, that's because the problem isn't the computer, the problem is.....ME!!!

I have a whole bunch of back up plans in the back of my head, no matter how many filters I put in place, there are always devices to be found and when not...my imagination is quite experienced by now.

What are you doing to curb your desire? What are you doing to change your attitude in life to one where you won't need to lust?

My cell phone has a special section of the contacts for ICE - In Case of Emergency.

I need that now for my addiction. Everybody tells me I need a plan, what I'm going to do should an urge arise.
I'm not quite sure I know how to make a plan, can you guys help me?

When I am about to fall I first try to talk myslef out of it--never works. As I am going to act out a part of my head is yelling at me STOP!! What are you doing?! STOP!! And the other side is saying Go ahead, what's going to happen? If you don't you'll just feel grumpy and depressed and you'll fall anyways.

What can I do at this point? When I know I am going to fall. What plan can I make?

I WANT to make a plan--help me, give me examples please.

Kol HaKavod to you all.

TaPHsiC might be a good idea. Part of making the shavua is that you're supposed to set up aactivities to do that will hopefully distract you enough to the point that after you do those activities, the feelings of lust and the "need" to act out are either diminished or gone. I personally find that music is a great distraction. Especially if its a slow song with particular meaming to me. Some people like to exercise or take a walk. Yes, when temptation hits its not always so easy to do the distraction since, after all, you want to act out now. It takes time and patience.