hi everyone i fell today to porn and masterbation after being clean for a year i browsed and thing like that but no porn or masterbation now i feel like garbage anyone out there could help me please get back to myself im a married kollel yungerman with kids wife doesnt know about the issue so i need u guys to help me thank you

Tomorrow you can be clean. That's the most important thing.
Wow you went an entire year. I envy you.

Why not get accountability software; you don't have to say it's because you fell, say it's because the gedolim say that you should. Plus a filter. Plus try looking around GYE for different options that can help you.

I did the same thing as a kollel yungerman. My wife eventually caught me after being married for over a decade. B"H am sober now for about 4 years. I fell countless times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Hop back in the truck and keep on truckin!

Do you think this is a one time thing or part of a pattern? Have you read the handbook? Have you been following this forum? What ideas do you think might help you?

I feel for you and wish you all the best. Keep posting here.

dd wrote:


I'm a lust addict.
Lust in its many forms is my preferred escape from the discomforts of life.

Now I'm clean and in recovery. I know that I cannot afford to toy with anything connected with lust, or anything that can lead me to pornography -- like looking at mainstream magazines or surfing websites with pictures of clothed women. I'm sick, so I need to keep far away. Or eventually it will catch me and take me back down into the pit.

I also know that I need to enjoy real life. And I need to have meaningful friendships and spend time with friends outside of the bais medrish.

My friend, get up. Today is day one. Feeling guilty or depressed isn't helpful (except to the Y"H). Make a new commitment. Set new gedarim.

Yerida l'tzorich aliya. Naaleh!

dd wrote:


Just get up and start again. You did one year, now move on to a second year. You can do it, you just did. As people here keep telling me and others, take it one day a time. Dont let one fall ruin it for you.

What made you fall? When you can identify it, learn from it. And remember, we all fall once in a while. Just get up and start again. Dont let it get you into a downward spiral.

thank u all for ur chizuk . let me explain i let myself wonder and eventually it was a build up for a few days that ended very sad. i really think its true that i have to deal with the issues earlyer so they dont become issues . remember i still need the chizuk after 13.5 months of being out of porn....

alex your so right we gotta face the facts and deal with them

I envy that you've been able to stay clean for a year. I've been trying forever, since I was 16, and it has always been "starting a new leaf". No matter what I did it has never helped. I think my longest clear streak has been around 60 days, but I never kept count, so I dont know.

I am just a few days sober now, but I am hoping that I will make it with GYE. Just reading that it's physically possible to stay sober for over 10 years, as some have, is astonishing to me. Many of which were much deeper in the pit than I have ever been. I need to get there too! And I am determined to do so.

My wife did know about my issues, but she thinks Ive been clean for a year now. I cant get myself to tell her.

A fall does not mean failure unless we throw in the towel and continue falling.

Just get up and continue moving forward.

We must realize, however, that "wondering" and allowing the thoughts into occupy our minds allows them to grow and mushroom until they ultimately take over. Once we are aware that any such thought is dangerous to us, we should be able to draw red lines in order to not allow them into our minds at all.